I reached a weird Short Hair mark today. It doesn't feel too long so much as too... thick. Which, for someone with decidedly un-thick hair, is an odd sensation. Before, when it was short but still ear-tuck-able, it would definitely get too long and shaggy-looking. Now it's more... mushroom shaped. I don't know. I'm not into it. And my bangs seem too long, even though they aren't really that long. This is all very confusing and I scheduled a haircut about two weeks earlier than I planned because No. I am not having Mushroom Head.
Everything feels a bit confusing, to be honest. Let's bullet point:
- My husband is getting home at 5. !!! He is working MUCH farther away than he used to, but he's coming home an hour earlier than he used to. Will this last? Who knows!
- After a dedicated struggle to lose weight and maintain a smaller size, I seem to have lost all of my mojo and/or motivation and absolutely must put every sugary thing I see into my mouth. I don't understand how I can be eating my feelings NOW, NOW that the business travel is over and my baby usually sleeps through the night.
- Every single stupid morning my sink is full of dishes. This probably shouldn't be confusing, but it IS. Every morning I'm like, "Really? AGAIN?"
- I am oddly un-stressed about our Christmas party. That is not at ALL like me.
- My kids ate tacos the other night. Tacos! With weird meat and a side of refried beans! I nearly fell over from shock.
- It gets dark at 4.
- I haven't seen my friends in forever. And I am really good at making sure I see my friends. But it's That Time Of Year and there's school schedules and family in town and we are all so busy.
- I keep flipping back and forth between What Alice Forgot and The Guns Of August and then cautiously watching bits of the Chosin Reservoir documentary on Netflix because I'm afraid of it but still really want to know about it and I think all of that input might make for a confusing subconcious.
I don't know. Maybe things don't feel like real life yet. December isn't ever a normal stretch of time and I feel like I'm just waiting around for the next thing - a party this day, a party that day, family family family, then oh yeah I have to get on a plane the day after Christmas... Making solid plans or changing something up or painting something or making a decision - feels sort of pointless because we just don't know what things ARE yet. Something like that. Maybe I just need a nap.