Results! Mostly favorable!

The part of me that doesn't deliver self-piteous freak outs on her blawg knew that everything would probably be fine and YES, everything was probably fine. Except for a 30% delay in gross motor movement, that is. Eh. Like the therapist said when she looked up from her calculator, "I'm not telling you anything you don't already know." 

And seriously - these people (there were three of them, with varying degrees of authority, all friendly and cute and super enthusiastic) were around my kid for all of 45 minutes and within that time period they TOTALLY (and ACCURATELY) summed her up. "She's fine! She just has no REASON to move towards that toy! She has a whole slew of people to do it for her! Oh, and WHAT A HAPPY BABY!"

My diagnosis exactly. 

During the little "these are our results" session I felt like I could choose to bash myself with guilt, ie: I never put her on her tummy! As soon as she fusses I tell Jack and Molly to give her a toy! I don't play with her as much as I should! OR I could choose to let it go. It was easy to choose the second option, precisely because the therapists were SO understanding and SO matter of fact about life with little kids. "Well of course you're not concentrating on floor time! YOU'RE BUSY!" 

The Head Therapist also told me that what she sees in Emma is SO common in youngest children (especially when there are three or more siblings) and that was really helpful to hear. Besides birth order, she also talked a lot about personality and temperament and I gobbled all that stuff up. Basically everything I've thought about Emma is also what this therapist thinks, with the addition of a few extra things. 

One extra thing was positive - apparently Emma knows and notices more than I realize. For example, I only know three or four baby signs and I do these with her often, especially "more" and "all done". But she NEVER signs them back to me and when I do them for her she just giggles like I'm an idiot. I wouldn't ever have said that she "recognizes" what I'm doing. The therapist made the sign for "more" and then said to me, "Oh, she totally knows it." I asked her how she could tell and she just said, "The flash of recognition in her eyes!" OH, OKAY THEN. (I guess this is what you learn when you evaluate hundreds of babies?)

One thing was negative - they used the words "confidence" and "frustration" a lot. Apparently they think EJ could use some confidence building when it comes to movement, and there are ways to help her around her frustration. So. I wasn't really aware of EITHER of those things? Possibly because I am on a busy schedule of doling out snacks? 

After just sitting around handing her different toys, having her handle things like a crayon and a bell, having her look at a series of pictures, seeing how she interacts with me and (of course) Jack and Molly, they added up a bunch of stuff on their evaluation sheet, performed some weirdo calculation, and informed me that she was right on 10 months in every area except the Crawling Department. To qualify for their services, the child has to be at least 25% behind in one of their five evaluated areas and Emma was at a 30% delay - then they asked me when I'd like to schedule a therapist. 

Soooo, yeah. It wasn't that I was AGAINST having an OT come and play with Emma. AT ALL. Or that I don't think she needs and/or could benefit from the extra attention and all that, but I DID ask them what would happen if I did nothing. 

I asked the question to gauge how worried they were. I felt like if they rammed the program down my throat, I better do it. If they were nonchalant, I knew my own personal diagnosis and feelings were correct. 

They were super nice about it (here I was, hoping I hadn't OFFENDED them, I AM IMPOSSIBLE) and they were basically like, "Oh, she'll start walking at some point and everything will be fine." The Head Therapist looked me right in the eye and said, "I would walk out of here NOT WORRIED AT ALL."

So then I told them I would like to have them call me to schedule an OT, probably twice a month. 

WHY NOT? And that was their point as well, once they finished their "oh, we're not worried!" exclamations and started on the hard sell of their program. I think they thought maybe I felt too busy or had my hands too full - that's not it. I think I just wanted some confidence for myself, that this is okay either way, and maybe for the other times with the other kids when I did nothing instead of calling up a birth to three program. This is not a Red Alert Early Intervention situation. This is a Why Not, It Can't Hurt, It Can Only Help, Besides It Might Be Fun And Interesting situation. Also, my insurance covers it!

I really liked that Head Therapist. She just knew a LOT about what babies Typically Do and she had ways of telling you about that sounded completely objective and without the worry/stress/guilt element. Or maybe I just really appreciate people who know how to handle my delicate psyche. 

Honestly, I REALLY haven't been a nutcase about this. I haven't had TIME to be a nutcase. I have NO FEAR that EJ will start moving at some point. I DO cop to being dramatic in this space, so my apologies. 

Anyway, I'm interested to see how it goes. They already gave me a handful of ideas for new ways to "move" her, I guess that's how I'd put it. Ways to ARRANGE her? Or how to position myself when I play with her? Which I'm trying to do more of, by the way, with the big kids in VBS this week. 

All right, this was tremendously boring. I promise to get back to just normal boring tomorrow. THANK YOU, INTERNET. YOU ARE SO NICE TO ME.

Comments

[Wendy]

I'm glad to hear it was reassuring! Always nice when a professional confirms what you already thought you knew about your child. You must be doing everything right! ;)
I worried about my daughters not talking as early as their older brother, and asked our family doctor. He said it is always that way with 2nd and 3rd children, they just don't get as much one on one time with their parents, and that is okay. I felt so guilty until he told me that! 3 kids spreads me rather thin too.

[ccr in MA]

I think one of the definition of a personal blog is "A place to be dramatic even about issues that you are sure will resolve themselves well." No problem!

[Crystal]

I think its great that the OT will come to your home. When my son was "underweight," I had to drive into the city twice a month to the children's hospital. Not fun with a toddler and an infant. I know, I should be glad we were close enough to be able to do that and have the services available, but it was a terribly frustrating year. I say, take advantage of what is offered to you, especially since it sounds so convenient.

[Megan]

Sooo, am I awful when I say I think it's kind of awesome that Emma doesn't crawl yet? Joseph started at the end of June and holy crap that kid gets into everything. I've had to babyproof things that Stephanie never even thought of getting into. Sigh.

[Ellen W]

That's great that the OT therapist will come to your house. After my older son's diagnosis of apraxia and sensory integration issues, for a while I was driving him to speech 2/week and OT once a week (disclosure: he was the only kid at the time). Make sure everything is good with your insurance as we quickly burned through our therapy allowance for the year and were paying close to $500/month for services. I strongly believe in early intervention. My son completed speech therapy by 3 1/2 and OT by 5. You would never know now that he had a speech delay as he talks non-stop these days.

[Natasha]

Yay!!! It sounds like appt went well, and I may start doing some more research on the birth order stuff-OUR E is also the third, she's only 8 weeks but I'm already starting to have mommy guilt about not holding her enough/tummy time/she's in her carseat hauling big kids too much. Sigh. She's just not demanding like her brother was!
I enjoy reading your blog, all drama included :) you're super honest & I like that, instead of sugar coating parenting, like a lot of my 'real life' friends do.

[Susie]

My nanny's mother is an infant OT, and she often comes by to play with Eliza, and it is FASCINATING. She (and our nanny) have been very focused on movement, and how Eliza interacts with things and people. Basically we have been getting free therapy for 10 months. I have no idea if that has contributed to
Eliza's early mobility and coordination, but she has both in spades (she's also a first kid). I think OTs are so cool, and I hope you find the sessions valuable (and calming!).

[Rosemary]

this was SO not boring - always love to hear about EJ and with a side of technical development stuff - even better! Oh and with a side of Maggie's feeling better too! :) Cool. I think it would be ok to say "we told you so" in this context?!

[HereWeGoAJen]

I like these women. Can they come to my house too?

[Sonya aka Glam-O-Mommy]

I just love how therapists can diagnose stuff so quickly, like how the lady could see the flash of recognition in Emma's eyes about the signs!

Sophie was a heavy drooler as a baby and then a toddler. Once it was apparent she wasn't growing out of it, our pediatrician sent us to a speech therapist (even though Sophie was talking and had an above-average two-year-old vocab). We arrived at the appointment and the first thing the therapist did was offer Sophie a snack and watch her eat. One minute in, she diagnosed the problem. Sophie had weak muscles on one side of her face because she always chewed on the other side of her mouth for some reason. The weak muscles were causing the drooling! I had never noticed Sophie was only eating on one side of her mouth. After four months of weekly, 30-minute therapy sessions which included a snack and focused on using her other side of her mouth, Sophie no longer drooled! So crazy...

[Kate P]

Yay! I'm not surprised she's fine--actually, I'm surprised they didn't try to hang around longer to enjoy her sunny smile. Glad to hear your worries are eased. :)

[Laura Diniwilk]

This is a great post; I am constantly worrying about my second because she's a little behind where my first was. I give myself a hard time because I KNOW I don't give her as much attention as her sister. It's nice to hear that these things are all normal for youngest children. Even though I only have two :)

Hah! Flash of recognition! I will look for that the next time Lucy is giving me the thousand yard stare when I try to get her to sign more (she does do milk, but to her it means "I want something" and I have to guess what).

[Elsha]

Not boring to me! But I totally think the same thing when I'm updating about Daniel's therapy. Also, glad to hear you like the therapist. I think that makes a big difference in how you feel about things.