This is about baby sleep. I'm sorry. But at the end there is a picture of a three-year-old in her flower girl dress.
For no clear reason I decided, at 2:30 am, that this was going to be the night I sleep train Emma. HA HA HA. More like she trained me to never do that again.
Usually we stumble into the kitchen, make a bottle, stumble into her room, feed her, rock her, and pray she goes to sleep. We know she doesn't need the bottle, but it's the fastest way to get her back to sleep, which is pretty much all we've cared about. Except now she'll be awake for another hour even WITH a bottle. So. My goal last night was to 1) not feed her and 2) not pick her up.
I was already awake and thinking about it. READY for the eh eh eh whimpering to begin. I was ON IT. I went back and forth to her room I don't know how many times, patting, shushing, kissing her forehead, saying "night night Emma!", even sitting in the chair in her room just so she'd know she wasn't alone.
Phillip slept through most of this, but somewhere in Hour Two he woke up and we had a perfectly reasonable discussion about "sleep training" and I was bound! and determined! that we would not feed her!
And people she didn't even WANT to eat. If I gained one productive thing from last night it's that I'm pretty sure she doesn't want/need to eat, but she has a CRAZY hard time putting herself back to sleep. That much was obvious. Other nights I've thought she's just happily awake and ready to play, but last night she was TIIIIRED. (Why don't tired babies go back to sleep? Seriously! IS IT THAT HARD?)
Anyway, none of my tactics were working. And she was getting more upset. I tried holding her, even though I said I wouldn't do it. I even let her cry for a bit even though I am 100% sure she is a tension escalator and crying has NEVER come CLOSE to working in the falling asleep department. So yeah, I got up again, I made a bottle, she made a face like, "THANK GOD", sucked down three ounces and fell instantly asleep.
It was just me up for another half hour wondering what the heck else to do.
She was super fidgety and squirmy last night, which made me think she'd have an easier time of it if she wasn't swaddled. But 1) she STILL hasn't rolled over 2) she gets mad if I ever try to put her in bed unswaddled 3) she instantly takes her pacifier out and plays with it if her arms aren't pinned down 4) THIS SEEMS LIKE MADNESS. (There was no Unswaddled Boot Camp this weekend, obvs. Like you thought we'd pull that off anyway.)
I think I am finally ready to admit that EJ is a Bad Sleeper. I've been SO against "labeling" her for some reason... I think because she HAS slept through the night. She often falls asleep on her own (unlike Jack who I rocked to sleep until the day before his sister was born.) She'll take super long naps. It's great! But actually it's mostly not great. I can't remember the last night where Phillip and I weren't trudging back and forth to her room between the hours of two and five. WE ARE SO TIRED.
IN OTHER NEWS (yes! let's talk about something else!) my sister, the one getting married, asked Molly to be her flower girl. Molly was uncertain about this until I found some wedding videos on YouTube and showed her what flower girls do and then she was IN. The dress, the flowers, the pretty hair, Molly is all over that. This morning she asked me if she could carry her princess wand down the aisle. (No.)
This is the [super cheap, TJ Maxx] dress I bought for her to wear to the wedding and we've all decided that it will work great as a flower girl dress:
And after a consultation with our favorite lifestyle and fashion blogger, Princess Nebraska, I scored these shoes on Amazon:
I think we're going to have the florist make some sort of flower wreath for her hair and my mom will make a basket and then I am going to die of cute. That is, if I don't die of sleep deprivation first.