As I have never 1) experienced PPD or 2) ANY clinical-type hardcore affects-your-entire-life depression, you may think I am wholly unqualified to write on this topic. (HA HA. LIKE THAT HAS EVER STOPPED ME BEFORE.)
This is just one of those things where you really have no idea what is going to happen or what you'll feel or think until it happens. Much like nearly everything else about having a baby. I thought I would FOR SURE come down with a raging case of PPD. I talked to my doctor about it well ahead of time. I asked friends to check up on me. I read tons about it, had a list of Professionals I could call, discussed preventative measures with Phillip, and then it didn't happen. AT ALL. I actually look back on the first several weeks of each kid's life with... swoony fondness. !!!
Okay, so we already know that I am a huge weirdo. HOWEVER! I am quasi-qualified to talk about Questionable Mental Health seeing as how I experience it pretty much all times EXCEPT for the first several weeks of each kid's life. And all I have to say about it can be summed up thusly: DO NOT DO IT BY YOURSELF.
I think some of the post-partum stuff is normal. Wacked out hormones, total upsidedownness of your entire world, figuring out a whole new area of partnership with your husband - just the lack of sleep is honestly enough to make you crazy. But for some people, it seems, there is definitely a point or a line or SOMETHING where things are definitely not right. They are not normal. They are hard and scary and rough and there's no perspective, no rationality, no grace.
Seems like a lot of women don't know this is happening until it's been happening a good long time. Then again, even if you're aware, just knowing about something does not necessarily empower you to change it or do something about it. Luckily for you, you have a super attentive and doting husband PLUS an incredibly nosy and armed-with-the-internet big sister.
If it happens to you, know that it happens to SO MANY OTHER WOMEN. There is nothing wrong with you! And it won't last forever. Find someone who will listen, maybe your nosy sister or perhaps a professional who is objective and not emotionally invested and has heard it all before. Talk to your doctor. Get some medicine. Don't be stupid and proud and stubborn like me and think that taking drugs means you failed or you can't hack it or you're masking the real problem. None of those things are true.
Once again I'm going to hope that the internet steps up in the comment box. I just think this is such a HUGE THING that hardly anyone really talks about in Real Life (I mean, not EVERYONE has a blog, right?) (Losers!) and then it's SO COMMON and I would just be heartbroken if you were to feel Not Right and Alone. You don't have to be those things.