Just skip this one, trust me

I think about Not Blogging Anymore a lot lately, way more than I used to. Anyone else? 

I have a lot of reasons, though it depends on the day. Some days I realize Jack is about to turn five and head to school and how would I have felt if MY mother were writing about ME on a near daily basis for an audience of, uh, dozens? There are times when I think it will be really neat for my kids to read some [SELECTED] entries, and sometimes I think about when my girls have their own babies and maybe they'll get a kick out of what I had to say about being a mom. Maybe? But I'm feeling like I shouldn't be writing so much about my individual kids anymore. Or I need to edit, big time. 

Then there are days when I violate blog policy, which makes me feel sad and guilty and ashamed of myself. 

There are days when CLEARLY I have nothing to say. And days when CLEARLY I should visit a trusted mental health professional instead. 

I've been writing here since 2004 and if you were to judge the blog by fame and fortune and book advances, then it's been an abject and embarrassing failure. 

Although, if you judge it by friendships made and a now yearly assumption that I will fly across the country to see them, it's been a tremendous success. I can't forget that part.

I've always wanted to write, but does this count? 

I think sometimes I hop on Twitter to see what's going on and I'm overwhelmed by the conversations. I wonder if it's possible to be an introvert on Twitter. You'd think not, since you're not actually in their presence, right? And you have time and space to compose your replies. Except sometimes it feels like there isn't time! People are going so fast, and then what if you forget someone, or someone else jumps in, or you get a little lost, or sometimes (heaven forbid) your real life demands attention. Or sometimes I think I'm just not that opinionated, so why bother saying anything in the first place? Especially when there's always someone else to say it for you. 

I think I'm just tired. Last week was excruciating, for both Phillip and me, and part of me wants to write about it, because that's what I do, and part of me thinks I've written it already, too many times, and who cares anymore (if they ever did) and maybe I should find a "real" thing to do. Maybe clean my bathroom every once in a while. 

My biggest fear, if I stopped keeping a blog, is losing people. I'm terrible at Twitter and Facebook is too real-life, so this is my main form of communication. And I just can't fathom doing the mom thing, or just LIFE, without my internet friends. So much so that I wonder how non-internetters manage. 

Anyway. We all know I'm not going anywhere. I like it here too much. I just wish I were better at it. If that makes sense.

 

Comments

[Sarahd]

You're at least DOING it! Even if you somehow don't feel "good" at it. Some of us don't get that far. And we'd miss you:).

[Julia]

Please don't go! I love to read what you have to say.

[Ji Campbell]

Oh, no. Maggie, you can't leave here! (Hmm, you can if you want :(...) Last week was very difficult for me, too. I almost lost my mind, literally. It is not you, having 3 kids under 5(or 4) is tough,but worth it, right?

Hope this week is better. I gotta have 4 crowns(I fractured 4 molars due to stress, yes 4!!!) this Saturday, so I need to get the Easter stuff ready before then. Hang in there!

[Life of a Doctor's Wife]

I don't want you to leave. And while I can't speak to the (understandable) bits about worrying whether it's okay to keep talking about your kids as they grow, I CAN speak to the writing thing. YES THIS COUNTS. You are taking thoughts and putting them into words which is hard as it is... and conveying emotion through a cold computer screen which is VERY hard... and all that is practice for your novels.

You already know my thoughts about Twitter: scary. I feel like I'm back in high school, standing at the edge of a table full of girls I'd LOVE to be able to hang out with, but uncertain of how to ask them to scoot over. (I know they WOULD because they are NICE. But it still makes me feel horribly awkward and gauche.)

And I also (gah, this is a disjointed comment) think that saying the same things over and over again is OKAY. Each time it's fresh in SOME WAY and there's more history behind it to influence its interpretation. And I think it's comforting, too, as a reader, to know that other people go through things in cycles just the way I do. So please: don't refrain from saying something just because you've said it (or something like it) before.

[BeccaV]

Oh, you can't go away! Your blog was the first blog I ever read! I had read other blogs and was just sort of blah about them, but yours kept me coming back and still does!

[Angela (@Aferg22)]

I am sorry if this is a double comment, but I think my comment was eaten!

Anyway, I really hope you don't stop blogging. I really enjoy reading what you write, and I am sorry that I don't comment more often (blame Google Reader). There is just something about your "voice" that I really like, and I am excited every time I see a new post of yours pop up in my reader.

I totally feel the same way about Twitter. I don't comment much because I feel like a creepy eavesdropper when I chime in on a conversation.

I appreciate what you do, and I definitely think it counts as real writing.

I hope this week is better/easier than the last one!

[The Sojourner]

If I owned a publishing house I'd totally give you a book deal.

Also, I don't get Twitter. I can't follow all the @ replies and the people who post like 50 times a day overwhelm me.

(I do like Facebook, though. The people I'm friends with tend to post more like once a week to 3-4 times a day, depending, and there's a lot less "I'm going to reference a person you don't know/a conversation you're not privy to.")

[lindsay]

I always enjoy your writing Maggie. Trust your gut, you are a smart lady. Are you still looking to make new relationships? If not, maybe you could make your blog private and invite the people important to you to read it.

[HereWeGoAJen]

I don't think you need to worry about being better at it. I think you are excellent already. :)

[craftyashley]

I love your posts- all of them. It's been a crazy day- I would otherwise elaborate on this point, but I'm tired. As long as you're here I'll keep reading!

[Carrie]

If you stop blogging I will get in the car, drive to your house and physically drag you over to the computer and make you sit there until you blog again and make me feel like I'm not the only mom who is going a little crazy.

:)

[Sarah in Ottawa]

I would miss you SO MUCH if you stopped, but I would totally understand. Twitter stresses me out -- so much going on, and I miss so much when I'm doing stuff with the kids or whatever. I am a screaming extrovert and I find it tough, so it must be doubly tough for an introvert!

You are awesome at it, and I am so glad that you write.

[Sarah C.]

You must not stop. Even when I'm woefully behind in my feed reader (see: now), yours is one I always read. Your honesty and openness is refreshing.

[Michelle]

I have the same feelings on Twitter, which is why I don't even look anymore. I go through spurts where I want to be involved in ALL of the conversations but I just don't have the time.

[Jesabes]

I wonder about non-internetters a lot. I go back and forth on whether it would be better. I can't imagine doing this mom thing without all of my internet people (I think I know a LOT more than I would otherwise)...but blogs/twitter are a HUGE timesuck for me. Not that I don't enjoy them, but sometimes I feel like I'm spending all my time trying to catch up, instead of doing other things, like playing with kids or just reading a book.

[natalie]

I've been feeling this way lately too... not that I'm a good or reliable blogger (and I, too, would miss you if you stopped!) but I think I'm kinda sorta perhaps maybe over the internet. Not the PEOPLE in the internet, LORD NO, I love the people. But I went back to work and there's so much less time in the day, and now I feel like I do too much thinking about the internet in general. Which, to me, maybe is a way of telling me to step back. (But not to skip the Blathering because no. Want to go.)
So yes, I agree with you, is what I'm saying. :)