I spent the greater part of my morning in an Oh God I Am Never Going To Lose The Baby Weight Depressive Episode. I made the rookie mistake of hopping on the scale before weigh in day and saw that I was up one pound and that's when the fits of despair kicked in. OH THE DESPAIR.
The fact that Emma woke up seventy-four times last night and the fact that I was unable to go back to sleep between each wake up surely had something to do with my mood, don't you think? I am hoping, because I can't keep emotionally throwing myself off bridges over this weight loss thing.
I whined over IM to Elizabeth, who, you may already know, is having some sort of Wardrobe Renaissance and after five minutes unloading on Elizabeth my choice was clear: get thee to the mall, purchase the most affordable, cutest thing that FITS. It doesn't matter if it's not the "right" size. Buy something you feel good in. Stop feeling bad about yourself. Find something that makes you look nice. Because LIFE IS TOO SHORT. ETC. And the internet is tired of hearing about it FTLOG!
I've been inspired (and intimidated) by Elizabeth's uniform plan. I like the IDEA, but I don't know if I could make it WORK. I haven't really bought any clothes since Emma was born, besides a few necessary size XXL t-shirts at Target. I haven't wanted to buy new clothes AT ALL, since I've been hoping to lose the baby weight and fit into my pre-Emma summer wardrobe, all of which I still really like. (I tried most of it on the other day and IT ALMOST FITS. Skirts are so much more forgiving than jeans. LE SIGH.)
But anyway, I am unhappy NOW and needing a pick me up NOW and also not wanting to look like a yoga pantsed slob NOW.
Pants make me depressed. I own five million cardigans and nothing to go under them. Putting two separate elements of an outfit together is clearly too hard for me. Also I've been wearing the same two or three jersey dresses ALL YEAR with leggings underneath. Now, I do not want to know if leggings are no longer okay, or if they weren't ever okay. I don't want to know because a dress with leggings underneath is basically the most comfortable thing I've ever worn and if it's wrong I don't want to be right. I am honestly afraid to ask. If I promise not to wear them as pants (EASIEST PROMISE EVER) can I keep them???
But thankfully we're gearing up on weather where I might not have to WEAR leggings (though this is Seattle - wishful thinking) so today I decided to expand my dress repertoire. Because if I'm going to commit to a uniform, I want it to be a dress. Preferably the sort of dress that is really a long t-shirt in disguise. I also want to go through my entire closet and throw stuff out/pack stuff up etc., a'la the brilliant Elizabeth, but lately I'm feeling like I barely have time to wash a load of desperately needed kid underpants and socks so the Closet Clean Out is going to have to wait.
In the meantime, I went to the mall and tried on nine thousand dresses and they were all terrible. Terrible! The only good part in all of that was the terribleness was not my fault. These dresses were either cheap or cut funny or weird material or looked awesome except for the puffy sleeves or were super basic cotton dresses that made me look six months pregnant and cost $50 (ANN TAYLOR LOFT I AM LOOKING AT YOU.)
I did come home with a pair of $10 jeans from Eddie Bauer. They are not TOTALLY perfect, but what pair of jeans IS totally perfect and also the TEN DOLLARS sort of makes up for it.
But then I went straight to Athleta.com and bought two dresses.
I am suspicious of the seam around the bust, but people gave it rave reviews.
Also this one:
Anyway. I am not sure where Athleta ranks in terms of Awesome, but I got their catalog for some reason the other day and I loved aaaaallll the dresses. I don't know. The sporty vibe speaks to me. The $98 price tags do not, but some of the sale stuff wasn't too bad. Maybe I just like the IDEA of being one of the sporty girl models in the catalog. That is totally a possibility.
So now I will sit here in my yoga pants and Phillip t-shirt and too-small hoodie and wait for my dresses. HO HUM.