No baby book and only gritty iPhone photos

I have a five-month-old. HUH?!

I think Five Months is one of my favorite months. They are just SO cute and still SO immobile and also not getting into stuff or demanding snacks or fighting with a sister or popping a brother on the head - just SWEET. And adorable and all chubby babyness. Love it. 

Even though I can't remember the last time I updated the big kids' baby books, Emma doesn't even HAVE a baby book. The amount of guilt I have around this is tremendous, I think because I LOVE my baby book. I pored over it as a kid and used it to prompt my mother to retell all the stories of my cuteness and my mom seemed to write down EVERYTHING... so yes, GOBS O' GUILT. 

I do, however, have a blawg. So. 

Emma, at five months you are not sleeping through the night, not rolling over, and still barfing all over everyone, mostly me. Clearly we should return you to the manufacturer, but every time we start digging around for the hospital receipt you bust out with a huge open-mouthed smile or you look at me with the You Are My Entire World And I Will Love You Forever And Always, Never Leave Me Because You Are The Best Mommy In The History Of Mommies face and I'm a total sucker for that face. Remember that when you want a car. 

Where Jack was blissfully happy yet sort of oblivious to people, where Molly was suspicious and had eyes only for me, you are extra super duper cheerful and easily entertained by whoever happens to be holding you. You're free with your smiles and gurgly laughs and as long as you are not left on your stomach too long or (horrors!) ALONE, you are one chill little baby. 

There is the sleep issue, of course. You nearly killed me from Month Three to Month Four. Not that you were sleeping great before that, but you were still newborny and I was giving you the benefit of the doubt. No, you got WORSE at three months and during January 2012 I nearly lost my mind. If you weren't awake every two hours you were awake EVERY hour. The only way to reliably get you back to sleep was to nurse you in my bed, so that's what I did, all night long, and people were like, "UM, maybe you should move that baby to her own room, DUMMY" but then I did that and you STILL woke up every two hours (OR EVERY HOUR) and obvs it is much better to do that while still in your own bed, right? So I moved you back. 

And naps, what were those? I spent every afternoon re-napping you. You'd sleep ten, fifteen minutes, twenty if I was super lucky. I'm not sure I can say more about this without bringing on the PTSD. 

We thought reflux? and gave you Zantac, which you hated oh so passionately. We gave you gripe water and Mylicon. We started giving you huge bottles before you went to bed. We bought two different swings. We tried not feeding you at night. We bought different pacifiers. We tried having giant fights at three AM and let me tell you, THAT worked wonderfully. 

Then, at four months, we put you down for bed around eight and you didn't wake up until midnight. Your father and I wondered who took our baby and left this sleepy baby in her place. But it was you! You did that! And you got the tiniest bit better every day! Amazing! You know, the internet strongly believes in a four month sleep regression, but you are the anomaly. That or you were having your four month sleep regression at three months, in which case you are SUPER ADVANCED. Maybe I pick that. 

Now you go to bed around seven or eight in your own crib, and wake up once around midnight and once in the early early morning when I move you into bed with me. Sometimes you skip that early morning feed and those are the days I love you best. 

And now you are - I can't believe I'm saying this - so easy to PUT to sleep. I mean, your sister fell asleep on her own from day one so she wins. But whenever I am rocking you to sleep and you just, you know, close your eyes and fall asleep, I think about your BROTHER, who required the most vigorous most intense rocking and A LOT OF IT and I am SO THANKFUL, EMMA. In comparison, you are cake.

You love your little blankie with the ribbon tags, you love the Bumbo, you love hanging out in the high chair while the big kids have lunch, you LOVE having your diaper changed and hanging your little baby bottom out in the cold air, you love the playmat with the little mirror that hangs directly over your face (you little narcissist). But the things you love most of all are your brother and sister. I was worried about you, Emma. You are three years younger than Molly, more than four years younger than Jack. They are thick as thieves and where would you fit in? Was this going to work out? 

But OH EMMA, you are Our Baby. I have to remind myself sometimes that one day you will be big and maybe it'll be Jack and The Girls instead, because right now Jack and Molly are The Big Kids or Jackenmolly and you are Our Baby and we all sort of share ownership of you. You're practically Jack's PET, the way he talks about you and reports to me about you and asks questions about you. And you should see how Jack prides himself on his ability to make you smile and laugh - you reward him every time. We can all get down on the floor with you and while I'm trying to keep your siblings from totally manhandling you, we are all thinking: what did we do before Our Baby?

I try so hard to think about you independently from your brother and sister, but sometimes that's the most fun. Like you are wearing 9 month clothes! You are a TANK compared to your scrawny siblings. Actually you're just on the taller side of average, but when you started to bust out of the six month outfits two days after I got them out, I couldn't believe it. 

At first I thought it would be fun to give you a nickname, like EJ, or, better yet, EmJ (don't let anyone tell you this isn't an AWESOME NICKNAME), but the fact is we just call you Emma at home. Or Emmaboo, because it goes really well with Mollymoo. The Internet calls you EJ, though, which I find charming, and when you grow up you will know you had these internet aunties who sent you clothes and made you quilts and kept your mommy sane. 

(PAUSE FOR TEARS. SNIFF.)

Sometimes I'm knocked out by how hard it was to go back to The Baby Stage. It's not like your dad and I were so far removed from it, but in some ways we were super settled into life with two preschoolers and your entry into our family hasn't been super smooth. But Emma, my heart just BURSTS with you, and when I remember thinking about how maybe two was enough, I'm horrified. I just LOVE YOU. The second you spy me leaning over your crib your face disappears into an open mouth of joy and how could I not want to give you the entire world. I love carting you around. I love having you watch me make dinner from the Bumbo. I loved hefting you all over that Portland hotel this weekend, and that giant glow over the city was ME beaming every time someone told me I had an adorable baby. 

 

Comments

[Elsha]

She's so cute!

[Hillary]

Oh that last picture, especially! She is adorable!

[Life of a Doctor's Wife]

Adorable baby indeed! (And yay for MORE SLEEP!)

[Redbecca]

What an adorable baby! Ah, the sleep. Makes such a huge difference in our lives and sometimes we don't even realize it.
Our kiddo was a barfer. He didn't have painful reflux, just hair-trigger barfing. I blame his father. It settled down when he was about a year old, but until then we always carried around extra clothes for him and for us!
Hmm, maybe I should start blogging so I can capture my kids' moments better. We had to reconstruct milestones from emails sent to grandparents during his first two years. How embarrassing! At least in a blawg you have it captured all in one place!

[Jesabes]

Congratulations on your overachiever. I guess she was dreading the four-month regression, too, so decided to just get it over with.

[Carrie]

Love the pictures- you two are so cute and smiley!

[HereWeGoAJen]

She is just the best baby.

[Colleen]

Love the pictures of you and Emma! Especially the last one. So glad sleep is coming a bit easier.

[Sonya aka Glam-O-Mommy]

What a cutie pie!!

[Kate P]

You both are super cute! This internet auntie thanks you for the gratuitous CHUBBY BABY CHEEKS pics. More, please!