SnowWatch 2012, conducted from EJ's bedroom window

Oh YAY! ANOTHER snow day! WAHOO!

Actually, it's fine. I say that GRUDGINGLY, but it's true. I happened to go to the store the day before the snow hit, so we have a ton of unhealthy things to eat, we still have un-played-with Christmas presents to keep us occupied, we have diapers and Netflix and Ursula The Neighbor, Formerly Of Michigan who knows how to properly sled etc. So we are FINE. 

I refuse to call it Snowpocalypse or Snowmageddon until the internet goes down. But then no one would KNOW I'm calling it Snowpocalypse or Snowmageddon which is really the entire point. 

Anyway. What I really want to talk about is how I did not sleep [again] last night. 

I FEEL like we are doing the right things for the kind of... situation we want. I say that because cosleeping was totally fine until it wasn't. You know? Nursing in bed was totally fine until it wasn't. But those things weren't working and the new things do not appear to be working. I was up so much with Emma last night that I think I can pinpoint the exact moment the Snow Event happened in my neighborhood. 

She was hungry (she shouldn't have been hungry) and then she was gassy (from what?) and then she just didn't want to lay flat in her bed? Or she wanted to be held? Or she was just awake? WHO KNOWS!

Now, you guys all know my aversion to parenting books and all that. My answer to all of these things is, "SHE'S A BABY." And you really just have to wait for someone to grow out of that. 

Phillip, on the other hand, takes a harder, longer view of things and when he's not sleeping he's of the opinion that he might never sleep again and SOMETHING! MUST! BE! DONE! 

To be fair, I get that way too, but I don't always want to have a Conversation about it in the middle of the night. Which is what happened LAST night and you can be SURE we were at our most rational and well-said at four in the morning. Isn't EVERYONE at their most eloquent at four am?

So my husband chooses that moment to tell me that he's going to send our big kids to his parents for the weekend when I'm in Palm Springs and HE is going to have Sleep Boot Camp with Emma. Perhaps he didn't put it QUITE that way, but the words "cry it out" were involved. 

I am SO NOT AGAINST cry it out. In fact, it was the only thing that ever worked with Jack. That said, I was SUPER AGAINST CIO with Molly because I just felt, in my heart of hearts, it wasn't going to work. And we never really did it with her and she's a great sleeper now (she was then too, she just didn't want to go to bed on time!) and isn't this vindication? But Phillip doesn't really BELIEVE in my heart of hearts. He believes in DOING SOMETHING. 

I kind of think Emma is a tension-increaser, though it's true I haven't tested her enough to REALLY know for sure. But I also think she's a bad sleeper. She's not HORRIBLE (she's not crying or awake for hours or whatever) but she's certainly no Molly (who fell asleep on her own from the beginning.) So I don't really know how to rejigger this kid. 

And I'm not here to complain, really, I just wanted to sort of organize it somewhere other than my brain. Sleep is not going well. (DAYTIME sleep is better, so there is hope.) Husband would like to request permission to wage a Sleep War. The President of the household is not so sure. However, the President is also very very tired. 

I think we'll just go sledding again. That seemed to tire everyone out. 

Comments

[Jesabes]

My husband and I are exactly the same. I always think there's nothing to be done except wait it out and he always wants to do something (usually CIO) right! that! second!

Now I'm all worried about what he's gonna pull when I got out of town in three weeks.

[Jesabes]

I should say, I'm not worried about CIO for it's own sake. It WAS the only thing that worked with Margaret. But we've already tried it with Paul and it DID NOT work. Yet he wants to try again.

[AmyRyb]

Random thought...and maybe you mentioned this already but I can't remember...any chance Emma has reflux? Given her spitting up issues and issues with night sleeping, it might be a possibility. I know how they tested my son when he was about nine months old (NOT. FUN.) but if they check her out and she has it, medication could help. I don't know crap as I am way across the country, but I wanted to mention it in case it might help...something to ask at the next ped visit, maybe.

[HereWeGoAJen]

Our problem is that Matt wants Something Done, but he doesn't know what it is and he wants me to do it.

Sleep issues SUCK. I hope it gets better soon.

[Hillary]

I HATE having the "what's the matter with the baby?" conversation in the middle of the night. I doesn't freaking matter what the matter is. No one is sleeping. How can we fix that right now? Or at least deal with it?

My must-fix-it husband drove me crazy with that.

[Sonya aka Glam-O-Mommy]

Maggie, I'm sure you and Phillip will figure out what works, but I'm going to offer my only piece of advice. I totally followed the book "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" when my daughter was a baby and it seemed to work well. She has an easy plan to help you get the baby on a good routine (not schedule) of eating, activity, and sleeping. I read other books like "Baby Wise" and my husband and I thought they were more stringent (and more focused on CIO, I think). The Baby Whisperer's style was more laid-back but more about learning your baby's cues and trying to get them on a routine that allowed you to have a little time to yourself. Now, my kid was a pretty good sleeper in general (then, anyway, miss those days), so it may or may not work for Emma, but that's all I got. I know the sleep thing is driving you both crazy, so I hope it gets resolved soon for you and Phillip!

P.S. Also, not sure if Emma uses a paci, but when Sophie seemed like she was eating all the time, and we knew we were supposed to be dropping one of the overnight feedings so she could sleep through the night (10-5), we just started giving her the paci at the 2 a.m. feeding to soothe her instead of feeding her, and a few nights of that and she stopped waking up to feed then. Another Baby Whisperer tip. :)

[Allison]

Wanted to echo what AmyRyb said - I think you briefly had Emma on reflux drugs and then stopped them (maybe?), but could it be worth exploring them again? Her sleep patterns sound a lot like both of my kids, and the only thing that worked for them was a proton pump inhibitor (not Zantac!). And CIO for my son, but that was a different issue - he had reflux, AND trouble soothing himself to sleep. But luckily was not a tension increaser, unlike my daughter. Totally with you on the "all kids are different, sometimes you just need to wait it out" mentality. Good luck figuring out what works with Emma!

[Christy]

Hey, I was up last night for an hour with my TWO year old. I was even on Twitter in hopes that someone else might be up (of course, I'm on a different coast than you). My husband is of the same type - MUST DO SOMETHING. Even though CIO didn't work for my little tension-increaser, C swears, "We can't be in there every night!"

Aside: it's not every night, it's every night this week, after months of pretty great sleeping. The dentist saw molars last week waiting to come in, so that's my assessment of The Problem. Only time will fix that.

Anyway, I commiserate.

[-R-]

It seems to me like maybe you should just let Phillip try whatever [possibly harebrained] scheme he wants while you're gone. If it doesn't work, you don't have to continue it when you get back. And Emma will be ok with a few days of failed sleep training. If it does work, then you get the good results without any of the pain. Yay!

But yeah. Ren is a horrible sleeper who slept through the night for maybe a year from 18 months to 30 months. That was it. At least now he usually only wakes up once a night. Grrr. He's just a bad sleeper. We've tried everything! My theory is just that some kids are bad sleepers.

[Marie Green]

Does it help to know you have company? My baby doesn't sleep more than 2 hours at a time, ever. I think she's done a few 4 hour stretches- TOTAL- in her LIFE. I wrote a whole post about infant sleep, but I haven't had the guts to post it yet. I want to MAKE friends on the internet, you see, not ENEMIES.

Also, don't you love those middle of the night convos? Ours are more like the desperate WHISPER FIGHTS, where we're both totally unreasonable and wildly gesticulating and making NO SENSE. We don't name-call, but during middle of the night fights? We TOTALLY name call. In a whisper-yell, of course.

Hang in there. These babies will grow up... right?