Isolated?
Optimism! I have some!

Obvs I need to go open the wine

I've been stuck in my house (and, to be fair, the two blocks SURROUNDING my house) since Saturday afternoon. I suppose I COULD have driven somewhere, but 1) we live on a hill and 2) I AM the Seattle driver who can't drive in snow, so it's just better for everyone if I stay home. 

AND I think I've handled it quite well. The kids have played in the snow every day, we've done puzzles and games and stamping, we've made snow ice cream (success!) and snow candy (fail!), we've made real dinners, we've done laundry and cleaned the house and picked up our toys, we have NOT watched TV all day long. I've been treadmilling and eating the right things and calling people when I start to feel despairing that the snow will ever melt. 

UNTIL TODAY. Today feels like my breaking point. I am just done. I am tired. I want to go somewhere. ANYWHERE. Tonight Phillip asked me if he could get together with two other guys tomorrow night, not even for anything fun, but to be all job networky, and I snapped. I WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE! WHY CAN'T I GO SOMEWHERE?!

I also have "Phillip is leaving on Sunday" in my head - I don't think that makes it better. 

Anyway, today I ate all sorts of horrible things and chose NOT to treadmill, so you are catching me at a Feeling Somewhat Bad About (And Also Sorry For) Myself point. I'd wanted to lose about 3.5 more pounds before next weekend. It's possible! If I do nothing except run and shred and eat apples. But we all know that isn't going to happen. 

I have lost 13 pounds since I started Really Trying To Lose Weight after Emma. And that feels impressive to me. Some people don't lose any pounds! And I've lost 13! During the holidays! Yay! Then again, I have TWENTY MORE POUNDS TO GO and that feels overwhelming. Also very HEAVY as you would expect twenty extra pounds to be. 

I've been losing about a pound a week, which is FINE, but also VERY SLOW. I mean, that gets me all sorts of approval from the Lose It AND Keep It Off crowd, but it's not really working for me in dressing rooms, if you know what I mean. I feel confident that I WILL lose this weight eventually, but next weekend I will be hanging out with my Old And Dear Friends and I may have mentioned this before, but they are two very slim, very hot, very super cute Asian girls and I AM NOT ANY OF THOSE THINGS. I am pretty sure they are bringing swim suits and GUESS WHO ISN'T. 

I know that's awful. I KNOW IT. I know I shouldn't talk like that. BUT I DO. SO THERE. 

We just finally - FINALLY! - organized the Cheung Family Trip and I am 99% sure it's happening in June, so I would really REALLY like to be VERY CLOSE to my goal if not AT my goal. I for SURE will be at my goal weight a little later in the summer at a family wedding. Oh yes I will.

Why am I not writing this on my weight loss blog? I DON'T KNOW. AM CRANKY.

So today is a loss, I think. Today I ate the kids' mac and cheese and one too many granola bars and a handful of animal crackers and a slice of Forbidden Cheese and God knows what else. Oh yes, BROWNIES. Because I am SNOWED IN and you know what? Sometimes food DOES make me feel better. 

I just... I've got things to DO, Seattle Weather. Apparently it's going to start raining tonight and tomorrow and drastically warm up and I am HOPEFUL but I have also been SNOWED IN for nearly a week and that starts to do things to your rational reasoning skills. Let us not talk about how Phillip is flying in the direction of the storm and may get stuck at his airport on his way home (MAYBE!) and unable to fly home (MAYBE!) and I would be stuck with the kids another week PLUS miss my own trip (MAYBE!) Seriously, the ONLY positive thing about that scenario would be not feeling fat in Palm Springs.  

Comments

Carrie

I'm on week 3 of a big group weight loss challenge with my old ww girls and still ate a bag of rolos tonight. And my weigh in day is tomorrow am. I'm not sure logic can overcome trapped in the house with everyone for days on end thinking.

I need to get out of here. Next week? Playdate?

HereWeGoAJen

When we were snowed in last year, I nearly went crazy. And it was only for four days. It was just knowing that I was STUCK, I think.

Life of a Doctor's Wife

UGH. Cabin fever is THE WORST! We are having sunshine today, so I am HOPING that you do as well. Healing, melting sunshine!

A different Carrie

I completely feel your pain about the slow weight loss journey. I started WW right before Thanksgiving and am just now reaching my 10 lb weight loss (almost - fingers crossed next week I'll be at that milestone). I am trying to tell myself that it's a "win" because I lost weight over the holidays and blah, blah, blah....but I've been at this for MONTHS and I'm still barely at 10 lbs! And similar to you, I still have about 20 to go and it's just UGH...will I ever get there?? So ya, I totally get it.

However, have you downloaded the WW barcode app? To use it you just hold your phone up to a barcode and it automatically calculates the points for you! I just discovered it this week and have basically been perusing my cabinets scanning everything in the cupboards just for fun. HA! So there is something you can do while snowed in. :-)

I'll be sending good travel vibes to Phillip! He will NOT be stuck at the airport!


Steph

13 pounds IS a big deal. Gospock up 3 5 pound bags (yes, the math is a wee bit off) of sugar...

But yes, being a woman is hard. Not comparing is hard. Feeling less than your own desired best is HARD.

That being said, know that you really, truly ARE beautiful. And you ARE made in the image of God. And no, you're not Asian, but you ARE super cute and witty and AWESOME and real!

Seriously, be at peace because who God has made you to be is so cool (and I know that merely from words that you TYPE).

Katie

You will not miss your trip! The snow is here in Chicago today. It's going to be several (or many) inches but we know how to deal with snow so it'll be all cleaned up and out of the way by tomorrow. I don't know where Phillip is heading but most places from here East are snow places and I truly think everything will be fine.

Also, give yourself a break about the weight. You JUST had a baby. You should be giving yourself props that you've lost 13 pounds! And then you should feel no guilt as you drink a glass of wine to help you relax. :)

Sheila

I'm so excited for your 13 pounds! I've been signed up on WW since NOVEMBER, and I gained 5 pounds. Because I don't have the internet at my house, and it's hard for me to track. (excuses, excuses).

Go you!

craftyashley

Go you, losing 13 lbs! That's awesome!

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