Leave it to me to go somewhere awesome and come home with angst
Spoiled lady clothes rant

Early risers

Because of Twitter I know that everyone else's children are waking up Unacceptably Early, just like mine. I think it's the early morning light, right? The kids have some pretty big windows in their room, and even though they're covered with shades and curtains, you can still see the light around the edges and it'd fool me too. If I wasn't a grown up who didn't highly value sleeping in. 

Anyway, it's usually Molly. Around 5 or 5:30 or 6 if we're lucky, she'll pitter patter into our room, blankie in tow, passo jammed in her mouth, and stand next to you all creepy-like until your eyes flutter open and see that The Princess has arrived. You are then expected to haul her into bed next to you and let her play with your phone or the iPad until you are capable of functioning. Which is NEVER before The Princess starts demanding breakfast. 

The KICKER to all of this is Jack, who we've always KNOWN to be a Sensitive Super Volatile Waker Upper. The first time he started bawling at six in the morning, when Molly had already been in bed with us for an hour, we had no idea what was up. And you know we were pleasant about it too. But seriously, who is capable of dealing with Full On Outright Temper Tantrummy BAWLING at six in the morning? When we finally got him to calm down he stammered, "I don't want Mollymoo to get up BEFOOOOOOORE MEEEEEE." 

FTLOG!

The next morning was the same thing, only this time he said, "Daddy I want you to wake me up before Mollymoo!" Like it's a competition? Or something? Or maybe he just doesn't like waking up and seeing that he's alone? WHO CARES! HOW STUPID!

A week or two later it's standard fare in the Cheung household. Children invade the bedroom unpleasantly early, we sleepily tug them into bed and ply them with electronic entertainment. On occasion I stumble out of bed and turn on the television in the living room. But they STILL start demanding breakfast before I'm ready to deliver, and I know what you are thinking. You are thinking: Come on, woman! Do your job! Your children are hungry! But did you know that I can fix a beautiful, healthy breakfast and watch the kids have exactly three bites before declaring they are no LONGER hungry? I can even give them sugary cereal and doughnuts and they will still do this. And then demand lunch at ten. AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!

Phillip left on another business trip yesterday afternoon, so I was on my own this morning when Molly flounced into my room and, on cue, Jack started howling at six. And I decided: THIS IS IT. 

I forced Molly back to her room. So then I had two kids crying. I sat on Jack's bed and explained, in detail, how HORRIBLE he is when he hasn't had enough sleep, how he is CRETIN-LIKE and UNBEARABLE and TOTALLY UNREASONABLE. That his "wrong side of bed" is SO MUCH MORE WRONGER than anyone else's. And that he was staying in bed until seven. AT LEAST SEVEN. Both of them. I didn't care if they slept or not, but they were NOT coming out of that room until seven. I put the tiny digital alarm clock next to Jack's bed and told him they were not allowed out until the six turned into a seven. 

AND IT WORKED. !!!

Well, not without a lot of, "MOMMY, I NEED A KLEENEX!" and "MOMMY, I HUNGRY!" and "MOMMY, MY NECK HURTS!" and CERTAINLY not without my phone and the iPad to keep them entertained. But at seven, when they were allowed to get up and demand their frozen waffles, they were, dare I say it, halfway pleasant. And I'd had a good forty-five minutes of Time To Process before I had to get up and do anything. 

It's an ugly win, but a win nonetheless. 

They are now on their second frozen waffle and shouting - YELLING - at a fly stuck in the kitchen. As if they hope to scare the fly into submission. Well. They are no longer yelling at ME, and that is an improvement. 

Comments

Christiana

So sick of the eating-breakfast-then-claiming-they-aren't-hungry-after-3-bites thing. Ugh. I've actually begun saving it and forcing my daughter to eat it the next time she tells me she's hungry. I'm not asking her to eat food she doesn't like. And we're talking about food she asks for!

My baby is my early riser lately. 4 am, 5am. This morning he slept until 6 and it was AMAZING. Truly. It's kind of wild when I'm excited about sleeping in until 6.

HereWeGoAJen

I was so not at all thinking "do your job, woman, your children are hungry." I was totally thinking "sprinkle some goldfish crackers on the floor the night before and let those early risers fend for their own breakfasts."

-R-

This morning my son woke up at 6:15. H got him juice, and then my son screamed and cried because he claimed H scared him. We are not sure how H scared him, but it seemed to have something to do with how H put the lid on my son's cup. WTH? I cannot deal with this kind of thing before 7 a.m.

Competing about what time to get up is funny when it's not my kids. =)

Amy

Forget my kid...*I* am waking up ungodly early these days. Yes, I go back to sleep but I'm not sure it's good sleep. I hadn't seen 5am in a good couple years and now--BAM--I see it all the time. So annoying. As for the kids, I don't know if this will help--but I'm considering shelling out the money if transitioning my nearly 3 year old to a toddler bed (finally) turns into a nightmare--but there are clocks you can get that turn a different color when it's time to get up. You can set a time, and in the night I think the lights function like a nightlight, but when the acceptable time comes, the lights change color and the kids know it's ok to get up and bug the parents. I've heard that they work like a charm. I know the kids catalog One Step Ahead has one, and I know there are more somewhere on Amazon, and I think they're around $30...but I'd have to think that if it works, it's PRICELESS.

Jessica

I think Jen is on to something. If they only eat 3 bites, I suggest bowls of sugary cereal left on the table the night before so they can get up and go eat it on their own. Or, even better, in baggies so it doesn't go stale and doesn't create any dishes.

Becky

Since they are in competition mode, promise a treat to whoever stays in there bed quietly the longest.

Becky

*thier

Becky

Gah! *their

Sorry! It's Monday!

Becky

One of the other bloggers I read suggests a night light that is a sun and moon and you can set the timer so that the sun turns on at a certain time. She tells her twin toddlers that they cannot leave their room until the sun lights up - and it actually works. Crazy, right?

Something similar to this: http://www.amazon.com/KidSleep-KSCLB-Classic-Blue/dp/B000VVIHPS/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&qid=1307399081&sr=8-9


Maybe it would help?
GL!

Elsha

Oh, I totally have the sun/moon night light and it is SO GREAT. (Google "good nite lite") Kalena stays in bed every morning until 6:45. And I know she's awake before that because as soon as the clock changes I hear here get up. I'm not worried about Will because he actually sleeps until about 6:45 every day anyway. Getting him to sleep later would be sort of a moot point.

katie

You just described our mornings to a T.
I like the cereal in baggies idea and will give it a try.

Kristina

My kids are the SAME way. And they share a room so when my daughter wakes up at an ungodly hour, I try to rush in and get her before she also wakes up my son, who is much more crabby w/o the proper amount of sleep.

And then when he wakes up, he's crying because "I DIDN'T EVEN HEAR YOU GET SISSY UP". I don't know if he thinks we do something extra fun while he's sleeping or if I go in and CHOOSE to get her up instead of him or what.


Also- my kids continue to sleep in on weekdays and are up at the crack of dawn on the weekends. WHY do they do this?? WHY????

Christina

My mom used to put a cup of cheerios in our cribs at night before she went to bed, so we'd have something to munch on and leave her alone in the morning. I never did this because I was quite sure my kids would throw cheerios all over the place, but you can see this is an age old problem.

I totally did the digital clock "not before 7" rule and I didn't even give them anything. I told them they had to stay IN BED until 7. They might have been allowed books, but that's it. And you know it totally worked and now ALL my kids sleep until at least 7:30 (and usually 8) every day. Keep it up, I swear, it will work! :)

Jennifer H

We have the clock that turns from yellow to green and I can't say enough good things about it! My son never dares disobey the ClOCK. If it is still yellow, he just rolls over and goes back to sleep. Love it.

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