Our missing piece
My nightstand

If you can figure out what this is about you get a pony

In one and a half weeks of 75% Throttle Potty Training, Molly has informed me that she needs to go potty BEFORE she actually GOES potty exactly, oh, NONE TIMES. If I am taking her to sit on the potty, by which I mean bribing her to sit on the potty, every fifteen to twenty minutes, all is well. She goes. No one has to do any laundry or Resolve a carpet. Everyone is happy. And she'll go anywhere, even if you don't have a sticker or a cookie in your purse. But if I have to make dinner? Or I forget? Or it just doesn't cross my mind in time? Yeah. Laundry. Moaning and groaning. A cheery little girl with wet pants chirping, "I go POTTY Mommy!" 

So my question to you is: do I keep going? Or do I go back to diapers and try again later? If you suggest I go 100% Full Speed Potty Training Ahead, then I will suggest that you haven't been reading that long and have yet to understand the true depths of my laziness. In other words: 100% for longer than, say, an afternoon, is unlikely to happen. I'M JUST BEING HONEST. We have to leave the house on occasion! And I often get sucked into the internet and forget where I AM!

Okay. Whatever. That's out of my system. Now I will tell you about how we drove to The Suburbs tonight to check out a Ginormous House that costs the same as a two bedroom hovel in my current neighborhood AND IT WASN'T THERE. Either the address is wrong or it hasn't been built yet or SOMETHING. But it was annoying. If I'm going to Hem and Haw over Ginormous Brand New House vs. Living In The City And Being My Most Authentic Self, I need tangible evidence for both realities. BAH. 

And you are saying to yourselves: wait, her lease isn't up till APRIL! And they were going to wait until Phillip was done with school! And decide on a neighborhood THEN! But I say to you: YOU try not refreshing Redfin every hour when you are in the position of Picking Anywhere You Want For Your New Place To Live. 

Oh, let's not go there either, that is one enormous post, no, a SERIES of enormous posts that I am disinclined to write at the moment. Most of my energies are currently being tasked with Not Microwaving The Microwave Popcorn because (EYE ROLL) I reverted back to the South Beach Diet at the beginning of the week and mini bag 100 calorie popcorn, which is only one Weight Watcher point, is not allowed if you are low carbing it. LAME. But you know what? I've already lost two pounds this week and Weight Watchers points can suck it. 

No, let's divert my energies to explaining what I think is My Weight Loss Rule of Thumb, which is: Stop Cramming So Much In Your Mouth For The Love of Grilled Cheese. Because DUDE. Just because the brownies were made with whole wheat flour and applesauce does not mean you are allowed to eat the entire pan. (WHICH I DID. THAT ONE TIME. FOR SERIOUS.)

SO ANYWAY. TECHNICALLY I've been doing Weight Watchers in my attempts to Maintain, but whatever, I am just breezing over those point values and paying for features I never use and blah blah blah. So I cancelled my account and dug out my South Beach book and TWO POUNDS, people. But it's not because Weight Watchers = doesn't work and South Beach = works, it's because 1) you gain weight when you eat too much and 2) the only things I really eat too much of are BREAD and COOKIES. I did my best with the cookies, but you may have heard my endeavors with baking bread this summer. YEEEEEEEAH. (Oh, also pasta. Pasta is low fat! Eat a lot! Wait! Not THAT much! Hey! Slow down! Aaaaauuuggghhh!)

I have a feeling this post would be a lot more interesting and coherent if I'd actually seen the house I was interested in tonight. LAME.

No really. Would you still love me if I moved to the suburbs? Mom? Anyone? SIGH.


Renata C.

I'm kind of glad you didn't tell a "possibly moving to the suburbs story" and chose to pick me up instead, without even knowing. I was just about to quit the darn South Beach after being on it for just one week. I am so, so cranky without the carbs, I feel like nothing is right with the world anymore. And I know it's two weeks for Phase One and all, but that's little consolation when I have to spread the cream cheese on the kids' bagels. SIGHHHH! Anyhow, now that you mentioned it, I'll stick with it for a bit longer. I don't feel so alone anymore.


1 vote to take a break from the potty training. who wants to be chained to the house (aka bathroom) just because my independent minded 2-year old insists on wearing blues clues underpants which will inevitably get peed all over the SECOND i turn my back? not me. i've had my fill of pee-soaked laundry and floor scrubbing this week. i'll try again in a couple weeks.

item 2 - you've just got to find the right neighborhood - in a suburb or in the city. that will take time. good for you to be looking now. personally, i'm a strong proponent for my own personal green space and not living right on top of my neighbors. surburban life doesn't have to be dull/isolating. i've done the city living but always come back to the suburbs. i find it peaceful and easy-going, not to mention you get more bang for your buck. good luck house-hunting!

item 3 - portion control is the key to losing and maintaining weight. if only i could follow moderation when it comes to any kind of home baked goodness or ANYTHING CHOCOLATE. i've gotten hooked on mini-dove bars (freezer section) and do my best to only have one. since the chocolate is so rich, most of the time i succeed. but put a pan of my husband's brownies in front of me and there go my calories for the week.


I would let her be naked from the waist down when you're at home. I always used pull-ups when we left the house, because my biggest fear was having to strip a carseat full of pee. My oldest did great when he was at home and naked.


i think you really have to do the math if you look at the suburbs. Would you need two vehicles? How much longer would P's commute be? I don't think suburbs are dull or isolating but where we live they are certainly unwalkable, and the fact that everything is "just" a few miles away but always in 97 different directions does add to our gas bill and carbon footprint and sucks our time, in my opinion. the other thing is, and this is totally just my opinion but as suburban sprawl continues I think it's less reasonable to buy a house in the suburbs and think you can later sell it for a bunch more money b/c there are forever new developments popping up. Whereas real estate in the city will never go down. Even though I am a dyed in the wool suburbanite, you strike me as such a city person I wonder if you are exactly the type of person who would be better in a 2 person hovel with a great location, than a McMansion. ....and I read an article recentlhy that said mcmansions are on the way out.


On Potty Training: I am so not a success at this, so take everything I say w/ a grain of salt. Try the keeping her naked while you're at home thing. Try plastic pants over undies (which is what worked for me nearly 30 years ago) since they are not as comfy and at least protect your rug/furniture a little bit, try setting a timer for you and for her. And are there any days when you won't be leaving the house? Maybe you could push on those days? I wouldn't completely back off - you may lose what progress you have made, but... I dunno. My 31 month old isn't even as far as Molly at this point. I actually found a car seat cover-thing the other day specifically made for potty training kids. Or their parents, as it may be. It prevents the accident from getting into the carseat upholstery. We were at Toys R Us when I saw it.

On the house: I had one of those, too. I hate that the listing doesn't actually SAY that it isn't built yet and basically, they want you to start paying for it before it's built, or at least make the commitment to pay for it, but they give you a major price break for doing so. I'd still love you if you lived in the suburbs, but... :) I don't think I'm your target audience for that question. LOL

On the diet: I never tried Weight Watchers because I refuse to pay for it. (I'm cheap like that)But I had success on South Beach the first time I did it. (subsequent times I have gotten kidney stones within the first week, as i have a tendency towards such, so I have had to ban SB from my weight loss attempts.) But that first week is HORRID. I get so grouchy without carbs.


We are also in the throes of potty training, and I say if she's not interested in doing it, then just stop for awhile. I wanted to try a ways back, but he wasn't into it at all and all of a sudden last week he decided to start sitting on the potty. So he does, but he also goes in his pullups (I did make the switch to pullups but I refuse to switch to underwear until I think my couches and bed are relatively safe) and he doesn't poo in the potty at all yet. We are currently mostly chained to the house. ALSO since he wants to stay on the potty so much, once he has peed a little I start a timer and he has 5 more minutes to decide if he has any more. Because otherwise he would spend 3 hours in there at a time.

I would try the naked thing except that when he's naked his hands are holding his junk the whole time and I don't know why this bothers me so much but it does.

I have a doctor's appointment next week, and I've decided to wait to start trying to lose weight until then. Not gorging myself, I've just made up my mind that I'll start once I know what my starting point is. Yes, I could step on the scale at Publix but no, I'm not going to do it. And I don't own a scale of my own (although I might buy one after my doctor's appointment.

Life of a Doctor's Wife

Congrats on the two pounds! I've been doing the straight-up calorie counting thing... and that really sucks and somehow I manage to go over my calorie limit every single day. So clearly? Not losing weight any more. Bah.

Good luck with the potty training!


House: Having a bigger house and a bigger yard were more important to us than living in the city. But I also have a husband who grew up on a farm and would really prefer to live in the middle of freaking nowhere, so the suburbs are kind of a compromise for us.

Potty training: I have no idea. I am lazy about this too. My solution is to hope that the daycare people train him.

Diet: I didn't buy a donut in my work cafeteria even though they had my very favorite kind of donut, and I consider that a huge success, so you probably don't want dieting opinions from me.


I vote for keeping up exactly what you've been doing on the potty training. It sounds like she's interested in doing it, and it's working, though slowly. A few more weeks and she will get it. I think that if she's interested, telling her to stop now would be really confusing.

On the house issue, we made the jump to the burbs after kid #2 was on the way, and it was very hard for us to leave Boston and everything it had to offer. Boston schools are workable, if you navigate the system, but I just wasn't up for it. And we didn't want to put the baby in a closet. Our criteria for a house included: good schools + 10 minute or less walk to public transport, a playground, one coffee shop, and one restaurant. Whenever the realtor called, we said "hang on, we need googlemaps". She learned we really had looked for a long time on our own and knew what we wanted. So she started to start her calls with "Hey! I found a house near Starbucks!"

We looked for a year in total (it took about 3 months after we got serious and had narrowed down what we wanted), but we wound up in a small house 12 miles from the city in a town with one of the best school systems in the state (yes, I am a school snob).

Yes, it is small and our budget allows for only one car (and no garage), but the upsides, including a great kitchen and awesome finished basement, for us, made it make sense. I would feel very isolated without having so much chance to meet people naturally-- I don't know if we would have so many friends in our neighorbood otherwise.

For us, that was the right trade-off. I don't think that you are looking too early AT ALL, because it is such a big decision. I think you need to look until you've really determined what's important to you and what trade-off you want to make. What worked for us was knowing what we wanted and waiting until we found it, even though it meant moving into a rental for two months in between homes. Have patience-- you will know it when you see it.


A friend of mine gave me the suggestion of using a pull-up OVER undies. The kid still gets the yucky wet sensation, but it's a little less mess to clean up (just the undies, I guess, as opposed to pants and anything else they're within dripping distance of). Not sure if that would help, but I thought I'd mention it. I haven't tried it yet myself, but based on her source, it seems like it's been tested and approved. My son is 27 months and will sometimes go when he's on the potty, and even will sometimes ask to sit on the potty. But do I think he's connecting the asking with actually having to go? No. We've been bribing a bit, but since we both work FT, it's hard to do the every 15 minutes thing. Maybe someday. I, too, am lazy and I'm hoping it just sort of happens someday.


I vote keep up with the potty training, but stretch out the interval between trips to see how long she will actually hold it. I still have to make sure to take Kalena (she only asks sometimes) but I know she'll last from 2 to 3 hours depending on how much she's had to drink.

I totally quit WW because I wasn't tracking points and I was like, Hey, I can *not* track points for free! I didn't start anything else though, because apparently being sleep deprived really cuts down on my desire to make any kind of effort. Fortunately, for me, maintaining is the easy part.

I would still love you if you moved to the suburbs. But then again I've spent pretty much my whole life in small town USA so maybe I am not your target with that question?


My potty training opinion is always that if you wait until they are truly ready, you don't have to do any work. Other than change diapers until they are truly ready. I vote that you give it a couple of weeks.


Molly is...what...two? Just barely? Or am I skipping a year? Anyway, I think you ignore it for awhile, go to diapers or pull-ups, and try again in a few months. Olivia did the start-again, stop-again thing FOREVER. Finally, this summer, at a little more than two-and-a-half, we put her in undies during the day and in less than two weeks she was pottying all by herself (no assistance needed). Now she's dry at night too. I can't explain it except to say that she was just ready.


I agree with the folks who say put the brakes on the potty training, at least for a while. My son also did the start-stop thing for a while (drove me crazy) and then magically (I kid you not--it was truly magical)he just sort of stopped going in his pants all on his own one day a little after he turned 2 1/2. And we haven't looked back since. I did nothing. I am probably lazier than you, so needless to say I was thrilled with this turn of events.


I would still love you, depending on which suburb.


I'd stick with the potty training. My two girls are the same apart as your two, and the youngest got interested in the whole process at 16 months. Obviously, she's a long way from being "really" potty trained, but I count every diaper that I can save as pennies in my pocket. It's not any harder to take her to the bathroom than changing her diaper. Now, we're still not ready for her to be in real undies very often - so we keep her in a diaper or pull ups most of the time. I'll be thrilled the day that she's ready to be rid of the diapers, but for now this is what works for us.

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