I think this turned into a post about party prep? Maybe?

We took the kids to Phillip's parents last night and left them there. The official reason is: I have a lunch date with my boss from two jobs ago, and it's at kind of a weird time for my in-laws to come up and watch the kids, and we know they love having them stay overnight and, well, we love having them stay overnight and so it just worked out and everyone is happy. I am feeling rotten about it, though, because:

1. Jack woke up with a fever over a week ago and wakes up early every morning asking for medicine. 
2. Jack has been nothing but a raging case of naughties since that fever - which went away within an hour and has yet to return. In other words: we have no idea if he really IS sick. 
3. I meant to take him to the doctor today to find out. 
4. What mother would let her child spend a night away if he's sick and unhappy...
5. ...simply because she is desperate for a break?
6. EXCEPT HE'S NOT SICK, HE'S JUST BREAKING MY WILL TO LIVE.

Either way, I am up at seven, a quivering pile of nervous energy. I've spent the last 10 minutes compiling a to do list, and freaking out because the to do list I compiled in my head last night, as I was trying to quell the nervous energy long enough to fall asleep, was much much longer. What have I forgotten?

This is a pretty good sign I need to get out and do some physical exercise - a run, a long brisk walk, something. 

Phillip watched the Super Bowl yesterday while I experimented with some party food (FAIL) and art projecked at the dining room table. The kids were already with their grandparents and I had all of my brain power to myself. I was making lists left and right, muttering to myself. Aiding me in my efforts were Sharpie pens in every color, glitter, glue, posterboard, foam board, Jack's little barnyard animals, my little flip book of the 50 best bar drinks and the long wedding photo frame from my bedroom - repurposed as a straight edge. I was a happy little party planner, totally in my own world, only bobbing up when Phillip made a particularly loud noise about the football game. 

(I'm not much of a fan, though I do have a Thing for the Colts QB and have decided I now have a Thing for the Saints QB. Also, the Google ad made me put down the glitter and dash into the bathroom for the tissue box. Sniff.)

Anyway. 

I was trying to think of the last time I used glitter and I realized I'd used it only a few months ago, when I glitterized some sewing pins for my sister's wedding. 

Santa voodoo. 

My house is covered in paper and scissors and glitter and glue and ribbons and Random Crap from the Party Store and part of me is absolutely thrilled, because I am In My Element. And another part of me is terrified, because what if being in your element doesn't mean you are good at using glitter and scissors and everyone is going to laugh at me. Like they did when they saw my glitter pins. (Although I guess the reaction to that was more, "You didn't HAVE to do that. No really. You DIDN'T HAVE TO.")

I tell myself the Nervous Energy fuels the few creative cells in my body. And then the Nervous Energy tells all the other cells that I suck and everyone is at home trying to think of nice ways to tell me that they'd stay home watching Wheel of Fortune than come to our house on Saturday. I tell myself that I have lots of good ideas and I can totally make things happen, then the Nervous Energy preys on me while I work, telling me everything looks stupid. I get so excited with my lists and my props, and then it occurs to me, for the zillionth time, that no one likes a list maker and secretly makes fun of her on the way home. 

The problem is, Nervous Energy is how I get stuff done. 

It's how I can sit on my couch and write for three hours straight, because I have THAT many thoughts swirling around in my head and they need a home. It's how I can go straight from baking two failed appetizer experiments to making glitter signs to figuring out how to bet on my made up game (did I mention it's a 1920s themed speakeasy/gambling party I'm throwing here?) to drawing a diagram of my living room so I know where I'll put all the decorations to dude, it's eight o'clock, I should probably eat dinner. One of my friends emailed her regrets and said something like, "I have no idea how you have time to do stuff like this!" and I'm all, "Meet Nervous Energy!" 

Okay, we have now reached the point in this post where I realize I 1) have nothing to say and 2) managed to say something anyway and 3) I am fearful to go back and read any of it because OMG NONSENSICAL. It's time to tack on a hasty little ending and go about my morning. As you were!

P.S. There are things I want to tell you, house- and preschool- and kid- and grocery-related, but they'll have to wait until I've rebooted my brain. Seriously. Last week was a doozy.

Comments

[Sarah in Ottawa]

Did you see the Betty White Snickers commercial? I just LOVE her, and that commerical was awesome. I am glad that I was watching the game with my Dad, as he identified Abe Vigoda for me! And wasn't Drew Brees's little boy ADORABLE? He is exactly 5 days older than Teddy. I just wanted to smother that baby with kisses!

I think many of us had bad weeks last week. Our sitter is in Korea visting her son/new grandson, so we had a blend of my parents and my inlaws (all the way from suburban Toronto) staying with us to sit. Which was great in some ways but exhausting in others. And the fact that it's winter just makes everything harder.

Good luck with the party! And I will never knock nervous energy - it fuels my days!

[Jess]

I think it's fine to leave him with his grandparents. I mean, you're not exactly leaving him with an unconcerned STRANGER, you know? And he'll probably be super well-behaved with them, just to piss you off.

[Shelby]

Those pins look so cool! What did you do with them?

Also, if I lived in the greater Seattle area, I would totally come to your party and appreciate all your Nervous Energy productivity! Your parties sound fantastic!

[HereWeGoAJen]

Obviously, you sent him to his grandparents so that he could have fun and forget all about not feeling well.

[Ashley]

Maggie, meet Xanax. Xanax, Maggie needs you. Seriously. :)

[Kate P]

I think that was a well-timed visit to the grandparents', because as my mom says, and as Jack will find out, "Mom-Mom's not having any of that." :)

Also, Acupuncture Santa is trying to give you a hint. . .

[lindsay]

I am more of an Eli Manning girl myself, but yes crushes on the players is one of the best parts of being a hetero girl who watches sports! Until they break your heart Tiger Woods style that is.

[ask doctor online]

Poor Santa! His legs was full of pins! LOL!