I've been carried here to where the river flows

So I've been thinking about what it means to "write more churchy stuff" because, as you may not be surprised to learn, I had no freaking idea what that meant when I wrote it last week. I'm still not sure what I mean. The best I can come up with is somewhere between "well I write everything ELSE down" and "I think it would be good for me." Maybe with a bit of, "I wonder what would happen if I did?" Okay, actually, maybe a lot of that.

The stuff I write in this space is supposed to make up for not keeping a journal anymore, and to supplement my sorry excuses for baby books. It's for exploring a random thought here and there and for working through the average every day conundrum. Occasionally I attempt to entertain, a lot of times I fail, sometimes I get things wrong or I leave something out or I say it poorly. I figure things out through writing and this website has helped in crazy innumerable ways, mostly because of you. And because I like you so much, I LOVE so many of you, I try not to disappoint. I rarely, if ever, write something controversial, confrontational or incendiary, and I stay away from that stuff on purpose. Outside of my magazines and conversations with Phillip and my dad, it doesn't really interest me. I mean, if you would like to go out for coffee sometime and spend two hours discussing one of my Strongly Held Opinions (I have several) then that's awesome. But here? I would much rather talk about television.

Not to say that talking about being Catholic or going to church or faith in general is necessarily controversial, confrontational and/or incendiary, but this is not a Catholic Blog and not all of you are Catholic or, to continue using the term I hate but can't figure out what else to use: churchy. So it's true - I self-censor. I joke. I don't say everything I could say. Sometimes I think I make it sound less important in my life than it is because 1) there are so many other churchy writers and they ALL do it better than I do, seriously, why even bother and 2) I don't want the not-churchy types to disappear. On the first point... well, maybe I'll get to that later. And on the second: wow. I am not giving any of us any credit.

So I think about what it means to write more about... God, faith, church, spirituality, WHATEVER and I always come to the same conclusion. If I'm really going to write about it, if I'm really going to say more, those posts should have their own space. A year ago I even went so far as to set up an entirely new blog, but I only wrote one post and I didn't tell anyone about it. I got rid of it, but today I'm thinking about bringing it back. I don't want to throw up a random post every so often about Church or Thoughts I Had Of A Spiritual Nature. It feels like it should be more of a narrative (and oh God we are diving into some pretty self-indulgent territory here, aren't we..., I mean, what's more self-indulgent and narcissistic than having a blog? Having MULTIPLE blogs!) It feels a lot like wanting to create a blog for losing the baby weight. The churchy stuff, especially if I think it might be 'good' for me, whatever that means, seems like it fits best in its own space. It's its own journey (GAG) much like my whole Hot By Thirty journey (GAAAAG.)

Sorry. That was revolting, even for me.

I was thinking about all of this in the car today, driving to the bank, skipping through radio stations. I landed on the Christian music station, which I hate 99% of the time because try as I might, I just haven't learned to love Christian music. I DO try. That's why I still have the preset. But most of the time I immediately jump to the next station - except this time. It was playing one of my all time favorite Christian songs (admittedly, a short list) - Dive, by Steven Curtis Chapman. This is a hokey upbeat not-cool song. It's not even by an artist or band that I would admit I listen to in public - it's by Steven Curtis Chapman. I mean, I'm CATHOLIC. All Catholics know about Christian music is the lyrics to 'On Eagle's Wings'. But this song was on a compilation CD I bought in college and I love it. I've loved it for years. I love the lyrics. I love the music. And whenever I hear it I get PUMPED. 

And I was sitting in my car in the bank parking lot listening to this song and thinking: I have no idea what I will WRITE in a new churchy stuff blog, but maybe I should take a leap of faith and try it ANYWAY.

Comments

[Lindsay]

Do it woman! I too am curious what would go on your churchy blog, but I know I enjoyed your churchy Nablopomo from back in the day.

[Shannon]

One blog, two blogs- just go for it! I love everything you write. :)

[Elsha]

I'll be reading.

[Jess]

I'm not religious but I find your churchy posts interesting anyway. For whatever THAT is worth.

As a side note, I still have Hot By Thirty in my Google Reader, and in the last couple days, your regular posts have been showing up not only in your regular feed but also in your Hot By Thirty feed. What's going on? Should I just unsubscribe from that feed? But then what if you POST THERE AGAIN and I MISS IT?

[barbetti]

I come from a very Italian/Irish Catholic family and am a lapsed one myself. But, having a kid, makes me feel like I need to include more spirituality in our house. So I would love to read whatever you have to say.

[Sarah in Ottawa]

Gah! I read this earlier today in my Google Reader, but then I couldn't get your site to load at work so I could comment. Stupid work!

I understand COMPLETELY what you are saying - I have a blend of religious and non-religious (agnostic, likely) readers -- all 5 of them! -- and I struggle with this topic. I don't want to post anything incorrect, but I don't want to alienate the non-believers, either. And I am no theologian, so I am not sure how well I'd fare in a heated debate, either.

That said, I started writing about religion by treading lightly. As I grow in confidence, I tread less lightly. But put it out there. It doesn't have to be something of great theological import, you know! I look forward to reading whatever you have to say, as it is always awesome.

[Shelby]

I, too, love reading everything you write! I especially like it when you write about your faith. Bring it! You'll do great!

[Annie]

Do it, Maggie! I can't wait to read what you have to say.

Oh - ha! I started this comment with "Bring it, Maggie!" and then changed it...then looked up to see Shelby said the same thing.

Do we think alike or what?

[Jessica]

I love that song, too! I'm not sure why I like it, but if I happen to hear it (unlikely, because I also usually listen to the Christian radio present for about 2 seconds at a time), I'm boppin around in my car like a dork!!