And I forgot to tape the clippings into the baby book - DRAT
Seven quick things Phillip wants to tell the Internet

I AM the boss of him

Thank God my sister came over to babysit tonight because I was ready to put Jack on the curb with a FREE sign around his neck. 

That kid does not listen to me. DOES. NOT. LISTEN. And there's pretty much nothing that drives me crazier than a two-year-old who flat out ignores me when I tell him to stop tormenting his sister. Which is to say: neither of us is on our best behavior. 

But I don't know what to do, other than stick him on the steps - completely removed from the action - every single time he steals Molly's toy or refuses to follow directions or can't stop crying. Oh man, the Can't Stop Crying. Maybe THAT'S the thing that drives me crazier. 

Last night Phillip put Jack to bed, then went downstairs to do homework. A little while later I heard Jack yelping over the monitor and I raced up there because we're potty training and YOU NEVER KNOW. But no, Jack wanted something. He kept saying what he wanted over and over, but I had no idea what he was talking about. Finally he said, "I show you!" So I got him out of bed (I was feeling sweet and generous) and he scampers into my bedroom where a Play-Doh pizza cutter type toy thingy was sitting on my bed. "My Play-Doh cutting board!" he announced (huh?) and held it close to his chest like a baby doll. "Want take this to bed Mama?" And I said no. And he said yes. And I said no. And he said yes. And it was totally the kind of thing that would drive me crazy, except it was sort of ridiculous and hilarious and he was acting SO pathetic in this very obvious way, where he knew that I knew this was a big act. And finally we giggled and I convinced him to take a book to bed instead of his cutting board (?) and ALL WAS WELL. 

So I know. I JUST KNOW my kid plays me. 

Sometimes it's cute. Other times I won't be played. You know? I'm going to win. I'm the mom. He has to listen to me. And then he doesn't and WHAT CAN I DO? 

I stick him on the steps or I stick him in his bed. I have no confidence that either of these things makes a lick of difference in his behavior, but at least I get five minutes away from him. 

Molly is no picnic herself, and I really have to watch to make sure that I'm getting on to Jack for a good reason, rather than Molly just felt like shrieking and I felt like blaming Jack. I'm the oldest kid, I remember full well what it was like to hear, "Just ignore him!" when my little brother was the one causing the problem. I don't want to do that to Jack, but even though Molly can be a little twerp and TOTALLY hits back (and hits first!) he DOES cause most of the problems. He takes her toys, he pushes her, he roughhouses with her in a mean sort of way, he plays tug of war until Molly gets hurt - it's awful! 

At the same time, this kid is CONSTANTLY kissing me, saying "I wuv you, Mommy", hugging me, asking me if I'm happy, wanting me to do this or that with him, snuggling in the chair when we read a story before naptime - I mean, he's PRECIOUS. He's the sweetest thing in the world. He is the cheeriest happiest little kid I know, I swear. BUT HE IS DRIVING ME NUTS!

This tends to go in waves... and maybe there's some External Factor I haven't identified, and won't for another six months or something, I don't know. And I don't think there's really anything I can do about it. From what I hear, he's just being two, and also from what I hear, three will be worse. Getting him out of my sight at least gives me a breather. We'll live. 

And when we got home tonight I turned on the news, watched for five minutes and went upstairs to stare at him and his sister, just barely resisting the impulse to pull them both out of bed and hold them in the comfy blue chair while they sleep. 

Comments

Becca

OMG YES! On all counts. The wild behavior, the roughhousing, the disrespect, the tantrums, and the cuddles and the watching them sleep. And I have threatened to sell my three y/o on many occasions.

Redbecca

I so hear you. I think it is TWO. And liking the attention (even negative) attention when you get on him for instigating things with Molly. My older of two nieces does this all the time. You are the boss of him, and he is the boss of Molly (she is smaller than he is!). He is just trying to figure out the pecking order.
The only piece of advice I can offer is to NOT stick him in the crib when he is naughty. You don't want the sleep place being associated with the punish place. At least that is what I've read. Hang in there!

Elsha

Kalena hasn't started tormenting the baby (YET) but there have definitely been times when I was ready to list her on eBay.

Jess

It sounds like it is just an age thing. They're lucky they're so cute.

Amanda

Seriously, I've never read a post about Jack and not thought that he and Conner are the same person seperated by 2,000 miles. I would SWEAR Conner has a hearing problem. (Doesn't, we've checked).

Manda

I think we just have to resign ourselves to the fact that these men of ours are going to be driving us nuts for the rest of our lives!

Christiana

My best friend and askMoxie (2 individuals, I'm not IRL friends w/ Moxie) both have this theory about the half year thing turning your kid into a different person. For my BF, it's the top of the year - her youngest, for example is about to turn 3 and he is becoming a monster, but at the half year mark (when he is 3 1/2) he'll likely be a better behaved, nicer, kid. Is jack hitting that mark any time soon?

Also, can I hype this book I've been using to help me w/ Caro? To Train up a Child by Pearl. My sister swears by it - her kids are really well behaved, too - and I'm loving it.

MichelleRenee

O you are so right. It goes in WAVES.

One minute I want to CLONE my boy because he's such a charmer.

A week later I'm dropping him off with my mother in order to SAVE HIS LIFE.

I hate thinking DURING the good times that "this too shall pass".. BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Megan

It gets better! Once they are older and the consequence does not have to be so immediate, it gets easier. I can tell the 4 year old that he won't get to play the wii when we get home and it works, or that he won't get to go over to xyz's house for the next playdate if he can't leave this one nicely, or he will have to go to bed 10 minutes earlier tomorrow which is even earlier then his little brother if he doesn't stay in bed right now....where that wouldn't work with a 2 year old because "later" is, well, too late. I'm not saying to give up or anything, obviously, but it does get easier when they get older and you have more to take away! HA!

DeeAnne the LitTwit

Congratulations on maintaining your sanity, and don't worry- it doesn't get easier! I have 16 year old twin girls and an 8 1/2 year old son. It seems to me that they lie awake nights figuring out how to push my buttons! I was wondering the other night about what life with Teenage Jack and Molly will be like for you. It will be hilarious, I'm sure. Maybe a future blog, fast-forward to their teen years and imagine a conversation between them!

Keep hangin' in there!

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