Seven Quick Things I've Learned About Blogging

Having updated this website near daily for over five years (5) (yes) (and no, I DON'T have anything better to do!) I should know a thing or two about blogging, right? Although (Disclaimer!) the only person who read it during the first three or four years was my mother, which leads me to my first point:

1. The best way to increase your traffic is to get pregnant. Try it! And if that doesn't work, just TALK about wanting to get pregnant. INSTANT READERSHIP.

2. The posts I whip out in thirty minutes, the ones that are about nothing, the ones that MAKE NO SENSE WHATSOEVER almost always get a bigger response than the posts that try to BE something. Point taken, Internet! (This has no application for YOU, it's just something I've picked up along the way. I'm sure YOUR attempts at thoughtful and well-written posts are singled out for anthologies and readings at the local bookstore.)

3. Always say yes if you have the opportunity to meet another blogger in person. I have yet to be even close to disappointed.

4. Whatever blogging platform you are using, it is trying to screw with you. It deletes your posts, it redesigns your compose window, it adds new "features" that aren't really "features" at all but new and terrible ways to screw with you and break your blog. The best way to combat the platform is to beat it into submission. Roll up those sleeves, tweak your heart out, decipher that CSS nonsense. OWN THAT WEBSITE.

5. So you feel strongly about that big important Issue. Yay you! Everyone should have lots of firmly held opinions. But unless you enjoy Spirited Debate, have a very (VERY) thick skin and an excellent spam filter, think twice before posting these opinions on your public website. (Thickness of MY skin, as evidenced by number of Controversial Topics on my website? MICROSCOPIC.)

6. A FWB - Friend Who Blogs - is an invaluable addition to your world, online and off. This can be a Real Life person or an internet friend, maybe someone whose site you loved for years and, when you finally commented, she (gasp!) emailed you back. This is the beginning of something glorious. Your real life non-bloggy friends are not going to understand when someone says something snippy in your comment box, but your FWB? TOTALLY WILL. And will G-Chat with you and send you pithy emails until you feel better.

7. If the same people come back every day to read your stupid website, if you have actual Honest-To-Goodness READERS, they always lap up a bit of personal history, maybe some husband trivia. They especially appreciate photos, so I DO hope you enjoy this early Christmas gift: DJ Philthy at work, a year before our own wedding.

 

Sure, I know I look kinda silly, but I have no idea this photo will be posted on the INTERNET in THE FUTURE. P.S. Yes, I totally own all this crap and in THE FUTURE it's going to have an awesome life in my garage.

Comments

[Jess]

#2: YES. My number of comments/emails seems to be inversely proportionate to the fluffiness of the post. I've given up worrying about it and assume that everyone else is just stricken dumb by my insight.

[morgan s]

DJ Philthy is comedy gold. And I love my bloggy friends! My IRL friends have no idea what they are missing. My favorite part of high school was writing pithy notes to my friends in class, is this not an extension of that, minus detention for writing notes in class??

[jackie]

Awesome :)

[C @ Kid Things]

I did an emphatic head nod to 2, 4 and 5.

[Ashley]

Santa IS real! And he bring silly pictures of DJ Philthy for all the good little bloggers.

[Elsha]

Here's what I want to know-- how do you get your lurkers to come out and start commenting? My stats tell me I have readers all over, but my comments tell me it's mostly my sisters and real life friends.

[pseudostoops]

DJ Philthy is the most earnest-looking DJ I've ever seen.

[-R-]

I am not sure that the dress shirt, tie, and pressed khakis are really very "philthy". I love that picture.

I agree with #3 wholeheartedly.

[Sarah in Ottawa]

A corollary to #3 -- any bloggers who've met YOU have never been close to disappointed, I'll wager. :)

And photographic evidence of DJ Philthy? BEST. ADVENT. GIFT. EVER!!

[Relyhope]

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