A stunning revelation

I went shopping tonight. 

Oh, first I should tell you that I am CRAZY EXHAUSTED and not from any particular physically strenuous task, but just the chaos that is my brain on wedding and holiday fumes, and also the FPC's car just up and stopped working tonight and could you please shoot up some Pink Swirly Thoughts for the beloved automobile of this extremely dated post? THANKS. Oh right, I'm telling you all that so that you won't expect anything coherent from this post, but maybe you've already figured that out. 

SO. I went shopping and it was bliss. Because when we picked Phillip up at work and I told him I wanted to try and get some stuff done tonight he said, "Well, why don't you go when we get home and I'll give the kids dinner and everything." AND THE WORLD STOOD STILL. I'm sorry, Internet, but the Devastatingly Handsome Chinese Man is MINE. 

I went, of course, although not without a lot of "are you SURE?" and "REALLY?" And the mall, as I'm sure a lot of you know, was kind of nuts on this mid-December evening, but you guys, I rocked the mall. I bought everything I needed to buy - presents, last minute wedding attire details, and, um, something for me to wear on Christmas. 

I have this very old Ann Taylor Loft sweater that I usually wear sometime around Christmas. It's the right kind of red with some inoffensive black velvet ribbon detailing. It's Christmassy without delving too far into Scary Third Grade Teacher Christmas Sweater territory. Anyway, I have nothing to wear with it since all my dress pants are too big and none of my skirts match. I was hunting for a shortish black skirt or maybe some nice black pants. Something classic, something appropriate, something that would probably hang out in my closet for years, long after I grow four sizes larger. 

But I, uh, came home with something else. For one thing, I bought another red sweater. The SAME RED. It's a little different in that it's long and tunic-ish, but you know, STILL A RED SWEATER. 

I also bought (I am turning red and you can't even see me) stretchy black skinny pants. SKINNY PANTS. And see how I've refrained from calling them leggings, though they are nearly as tight as leggings and you probably couldn't tell the difference. Even though they're heavy and have a zipper at the top and aren't, you know, LEGGINGS. 

Okay, so, back story: I tried on skinny jeans a few weeks ago with my sister. My sister IS skinny. I am not skinny, but I am also a lot less fat than I used to be. I thought: why not? Skinny jeans are The Thing, right? But both of us looked embarrassingly awful. Terrible. Unimaginably horrid. I am thinking it has something to do with the fact that neither of us look like tall runway models. I have seen other people who look half decent in skinny jeans, but most of them are tall runway models and I am about as far away from a tall runway model as you can be. I scraped those things off my legs and told myself, "Self? NEVER AGAIN!"

But I've been seeing women in what I will call skinny PANTS. Not jeans, but dark pants, too heavy to be leggings, but nearly as tight, and usually tucked into boots. I like this look. I like the long sweater thing over the tight pants and the boots. Are people wearing that where you live? I swear, all the cool shoe salesgirls and restaurant hostesses are wearing something like this. And even though I am not a cool salesgirl or hostess, I am a STAY AT HOME MOM, I have wondered if I could pull it off. And when I saw the black skinny pants on sale at Macy's I thought: why not? 

AND THEN I BOUGHT THEM. 

I am not sure about this look, internet. (And I know what you are thinking and NO, I am NOT going to post a picture, this is what younger sisters are FOR.) I have to say, the long sweater over the tight pants was kind of flattering, or at least they fit pretty well. And while I didn't love the super tapered look I wanted to see what it would look like with boots. So I bought it. And then I carried it out of the store thinking, "Hmm, I have seen this look on someone other than the hot restaurant hostess."

So I've been thinking about it this whole time and Internet, I have DISCOVERED THE SOURCE. Hold on to your keyboards, now. The person I remember first wearing this sort of ensemble was DUN DUN DUN my high school Italian teacher. GAH!

My high school Italian teacher was ITALIAN. She was from the town and just happened to marry an American teacher eight frillion years previously, which is the only reason I can think of as to why she was allowed to show up in our high school and pretend she was teaching Italian. We mostly learned about how rude American children were and why it was very important to own a Trussardi brand bag and how well-connected Signora was in our little town and if we didn't settle down and do our translations she would tell the mayor on us. BUT I DIGRESS. 

Signora was MAYBE five feet tall. She wore, every single day, a longish sweater in a dark neutral color, and tight skinny pants in darker neutral colors, with an assortment of snazzy ankle boots. With her giant mass of reddish-purple hair and gold jewelry, she looked like every other Italian lady at the market or in the bar. It was the UNIFORM. And I remember silently deriding it my head, and not-so-silently deriding it in the girls' locker room before basketball practice. (Italian was my last class of the day, and she was not our favorite teacher.) 

Anyway, I'm now feeling pretty uncertain as to whether I should keep MY skinny pants. I mean, we've already discussed the fact that I need to start coloring my hair - what if it turns out reddish-purple? IS THIS KARMA? 

Comments

[Heather]

Keep them. Every now and then we need to step out of our comfort zone and do something a bit wild (like skinny pants).

I bought some too.

[Shelby]

Since there's no mention of stirrups, I assume they're not stirrup pants? I assumed stirrup pants were gone forever, but then I saw some in a store the other night. I'm somewhat appalled!

So how does it look with boots? Tall boots or ankle boots?

[Raven]

I say as long as they aren't stirrup pants (OH THE HORROR) and you don't wear them with ankle boots (tall-ish are more flattering and give the illusion of a longer leg) then you are well away from crazy italian teacher category!

[maggie]

1. They are NOT stirrup pants! OH DEAR GOD. I need a LITTLE credit here!

2. TALL boots. I don't even own ankle boots. Tall suede black boots. Acceptable?

[Melissa]

I've had this same debate! Where did you get your skinny pants? I want to know!

[Jess]

Keep them! I'm sure they're cute and you're upset over the CONCEPT, not the execution.

Also, I own one pair of skinny jeans, and I will ONLY wear them tucked into boots. That is why I bought them, and that is why I wear them. And that's IT. Could not pull off skinny jeans without the boots.

[Elizabeth]

I cannot possibly answer this question without a picture. But I will say I do enjoy the look of leggings tucked into largish boots, so I think you're ok.

[Linda]

Keep them! They are cute and comfy. When I bought my first pair of actual leggings, I was a little devasted at myself but I've since gotten over it. heh. The fact that they are legging-like but actual pants with a zipper makes them much more acceptable. and tucked into boots - can't lose.

[Tara]

I'm giggling over here about the idea of stirrup pants. Of which I wore for WAY too long and owned WAY too many pairs back in the late 80's/early 90's.

I say if they look cute, then keep them! And if you already have boots then that's a huge plus. I tried on a pair of skinny jeans and they looked... weird on me. And then I don't have the right shoes so I just trashed the idea.

Also, got your Christmas card today-- Thank you! Cutest little reindeer ever!

[Christiana]

I LOVED that look when I was younger (the first time it was uber popular). I've avoided it thus far this time around since my DH doesn't like it and the one time I tried something on like that, I made the mistake of trying a tunic on that was fitted at the bottom and I looked HORRIBLE.

Anyhow, I'm also incredibly overweight right now, so since YOU are hot and 30, it probably looks great on you. :)

[Manda]

I DEMAND PHOTOS. I'm sure you look adorable and I demand the opportunity to FUSS over you!!