Correspondence: The Disneyland Files

Dear Geography-Challenged Man Sitting Behind Us At 'It's A Small World',

That was not China, that was Thailand. And that was not England, it was France. Did you not see the FREAKING EIFFEL TOWER? Seriously. My children are young and impressionable and it was all I could do not to cover their ears during the entire ride. Your kids' teachers will certainly have their work cut out for them this year. 

Best, 

Maggie

Dear Disney Employee Who Told Me My Baby Couldn't Go On The Flying Rockets Because She Wasn't Wearing Shoes, She Wasn't Even Wearing SOCKS,

REALLY?!

Unbelievably,

Maggie

Dear My Mom,

The baby is not wearing socks because 1) it's HOT and 2) she kicks her shoes off and then pulls her socks off WITH HER TEETH. What is the point? But apparently, no shoes, no service for babies at Disneyland. 

See you soon,

Maggie

Dear Main Street Balloon Vendor,

When we saw a nice man handing out balloons to each member of his family, we thought it'd be fun to buy one for our two-year-old who was, I'm sure you noticed, practically stage diving into your wares. And while we certainly weren't surprised when you told us each balloon was twelve dollars, we are very sorry for fainting into your arms when we realized the man in front of us had paid you EIGHTY-FOUR dollars for BALLOONS.

Somewhat horrifically,

Maggie

Dear Our Hotel,

You are just about perfect. We love you. We especially love your crazy awesome pool and play area, which we've taken to calling Toddler Nirvana. But we think the main door of the kids' suite should open into the parents' room, not the kids' (because how do we get in and out while they're napping?) and what is with the doors being too narrow to fit a double stroller? Annoying! But we're willing to forgive most anything on account of Toddler Nirvana. Thank you for ensuring the afternoon nap. 

Sincerely yours,

Maggie

Dear My Husband,

Today is your thirty-first birthday and I am neglecting the occasion, AGAIN, because we have Other Stuff Going On! Which isn't to say I didn't ask the hotel staff about getting you a cake or something in the room, but I was gently chided about Waiting Until The Last Minute and, well, I already agreed to this sushi making party you want to have when we get home, even though it sounds like a fast track to food poisoning lawsuits, and WHATEVER. I'm sorry I didn't get you a card because I was too busy freaking out about whittling down my nineteen hotel reservations and I'm sorry you didn't even get the Happy Birthday song because your son keeps saying, "No, it's MONNY'S birthday" and filling in MONNY instead of DADDY and if it were MY birthday I'd be WAY UPSET. But you are sweet and patient and not the kind of person to expect a parade on your special day (although, if we're being honest, you DID get a parade, I have PICTURES) and I love you and I hope it was happy. 

Love,

Your Wife

Dear Everyone Who Said My Kids Were Too Young For Disneyland, 

Bite me!

Maggie

Comments

[Carrie]

Happy birthday, Phillip!!

[jackie]

Two kids in Mouse Ears! Love it!!!

(Happy birthday, Phillip!)

[Kathleen]

Happy Birthday Philip! And big "Yay!" to successful Disneyland trip. I had people tell me I was crazy to go to DisneyWorld last year with an almost 4 year old, a just 2 year old and a just 1 year. Oh, yeah, I was 20 weeks pregnant too. The looks on my kids faces and the way they STILL talk about it months later-- SOOOOOOOOOOOO worth it! Where did you stay? Must know, we're thinking of trying the west coast Disney in the next few years. So glad you had a great time.

[Jess]

I love the last letter (and accompanying photo) best. Hilarious.

[C @ Kid Things]

LOVE her face in the picture. Sounds like a great time.

[-R-]

That hotel sounds so awesome! I'm glad Disneyland worked out so well.

Also, I hope you write more about the sushi party because that sounds like a fun idea. Just have everyone sign liability waivers first. =)

[HereWeGoAJen]

My baby was MUCH younger than your kids when I took her to Disney. I think three months-ish?

The stupid people on Small World always drive me crazy. There is one on EVERY single time I go. And they get the most obvious ones wrong too. Grr.

Happy birthday, Phillip!

[Elsha]

Your kids in their mouse ears are TOO CUTE!

Happy birthday to Phillip!

[Manda]

Happy Birthday Phillip!!
And HOORAY FOR BABIES AT DISNEYLAND!! WOOO!

[Lisa]

Twelve dollars for a mylar or nylon piece filled with air? Talk about profit margin! And the shoes thing...yeah, I'm pretty sure it's a rule at all theme/amusement parks. Some are better at enforcement than others.

[Christiana]

Happy Birthday, Phillip!

Glad the kiddos are having a great time.
I never thought your kids were too young to like Disney - seems like good ages to me. The only reason I haven't taken mine yet is because I am selfishly hiding the last few adults-only visits before she knows what she is missing. :) She'll be there before she's 2 (5 months to go!)

[Angela Noelle]

Fabulous! I'm in awe of your dedication to the blog--posting while in Disneyland with two kids? You're Blog Wonder Woman! Glad you're having a great time :)

Signed,
Girl Who Probably Thought Thailand Was China in It's a Small World

[Melissa]

One of my favorite blog posts...especially your ending comments.

Happy Birthday to Philip!

[Elaine]

Ha ha! Love it! And that first letter? To the dumb guy? Reminds me of a time we had our kids at a farm and some woman kept pointing to a calf and saying, "Look Johnny! See the baby deer? Look at the deer! Isn't the deer cute?" For the love of crap woman, you were at a dairy farm!

[janey]

Where is this toddler Nirvana? We may skip Disney and just hang out there! I find the only thing to do in situation #1 is to pretend not to hear him and proceed to talk loud enough that he can hear you. You are far more gracious than I. I suppose the "too young for Disney" folks also think there is such thing as too much frosting, too much glitter, or too fabulous a hand-bag!