Not doing anything about the future guilt tonight

This weekend smelled like sunscreen and tasted like ha gau and sounded like two children yelling, simultaneously, at the top of their lungs. We're sticky and half-naked around here, in and out of the kiddie pool and the sprinkler, filling up on fruit snacks in the car on the way home from the splash park instead of eating dinner. I have to say, it's not a bad life being two in July. Especially when your mother takes pity on you and lets you slurp on a popsicle in front of the television before you go to bed.

We meant to drive to the coast, but it was kind of a long week and perhaps I'd had an ornery and unpleasant disposition for most of it and then my dad ended up in the hospital and Phillip and I were all, "You know, there are plenty of places to play in the water near our house." My dad is fine, and since I'm sure the last thing he'd want is for me to tell The Internets all about his week [WEEK. AND COUNTING.] of illness, I'll just say that by the time I found out he was IN the hospital everything was already under control. 

I've been thinking that fifty years from now when I am in The Home and telling all the spring chickies to enjoy their babies, it goes so fast, the best years of your life, blah blah blah, I won't be interested in half the stuff I write on this website. Most likely I will be dying of shame, quickly thumbing through the pages trying to find the parts where I write about that cute thing Molly was doing at 9 months and what phrases Jack was saying at two years and, you know, all those things you tell yourself you're going to write in the baby book. And my 80-year-old self will have to die of shame AGAIN because I don't think I blog too much of the cuteness. In between my attempts at Half Decent Writing and Random Spurts of Consciousness there is a whole lot of WHINING. Oh, my life is so hard, two children, wah, the jabber jabber and the needy and the not eating and the not sleeping and 80-year-old me is going to DIE, people, DIE. Because! What was she thinking? Is she serious? Why aren't there more pictures? IT GOES SO FAST!

Here is where you think I'm going to detail some of the cuteness (and dude, my baby girl was THE cuteness today, people, in her completely pointless bathing suit since she refuses to be anywhere NEAR the water) but NO. I am going to do the two things I do best: whine and worry.

So. Maybe some of you were around about a year ago when my darling firstborn - oh wait, it was OVER a year ago, HOW TIME FLIES - entered into what I have so far deemed The Worst Baby Phase which is Transitioning To One Nap. Both ends of the nap spectrum are good. Two naps? Goooood! A free morning and one longer nap? Also goooood! But in between? In between is just a whole lot of bashing your head against your filthy hardwood floors. In between is this big mess of No Schedule! and How Are We Supposed To Go Anywhere? and I'm Going To Need A Prescription If This Goes On Much Longer.

I remember this VERY WELL, Internet, and I have no doubt about Jack kicking up this awful nap transition thing around ten months. TEN MONTHS. We had four miserable months of transition when, somewhat miraculously, between fourteen and fifteen months, and JUST IN TIME for his sister to be born thank GOD, Jack got the hang of one nap. He had a schedule, I had predictability and all was right in the world.

I am beginning to suspect that Molly is starting her own transition phase, and it doesn't look good.

I've heard that it's not ALWAYS bad. That some kids bang this out in a matter of weeks. That the parents, even, are even-keeled and good natured the entire time. But I'm not banking on that with my fussy little Molly (and you KNOW I won't be even keeled and good natured). We're now on week two of Morning Nap Weirdness. She falls asleep - EVENTUALLY. But not easily, not quickly, not like she used to. And she's having a hard time falling asleep in the afternoons too. It's all just very... REMINISCENT, if you will. I find myself hoping that it's just the heat, that everyone's a bit uncomfortable, that things will go back to normal. But it's not normal for her to nap in the morning forEVER, right? She's going to transition EVENTUALLY, right? WAH.

There you go, your eagerly-looked-forward-to Monday WHINE. Will now have to dredge up some of the cuteness for tomorrow, even though the cuteness is not half as much fun to write about. But seriously, the 80-year-old is HAUNTING ME. From the FUTURE. Wagging her finger at me about the BLOG. It's, like, FUTURE GUILT.

I need a moment of silence about this nap thing. Really. I'm NOT looking forward to this. I also need my husband to fetch me a frosty cocktail. It's 86 degrees in my living room and my palms are sweatfused to the keyboard.

Before I hit "publish" I want you to know that Phillip waltzed over here a few minutes ago all, "Apparently your readers would like us to have a Third Baby. Do they know something I don't know? I do hope you are going to clear the air. I would like to see it in print." He was very official-sounding, very abrupt, very no nonsense. But really, I have no idea what he is talking about. Did someone say something about a third baby?

Comments

[lindsay]

Too funny, that bit at the end re Phillip. Annnd I saw Molly's outfit on twitter and noted the cuteness at that time so HA! jokes on your 80 year old self. She will just have to get on Twitter 2060 to see the cuteness.

[Carrie]

I'm glad your dad is doing okay- sorry to hear he's having to go through the whole hospital thing. I hope he's all well soon.

And I also saw the twitter pic- too cute!

Seriously, the heat. Dying. Read my twitter updates for just how traumatic it is here- re: naked neighbors. And it's supposed to be 97!!! on Wednesday. No longer love Seattle.

[Elizabeth]

I am so sorry about your dad and writing you seven hundred questions about Blogher ads while he was in the hospital! I suck.
Also, ARE you having a third baby? Please advise.
And finally, at times like these, I like to remember that in 17 years, it will be Molly's college roommate's problem when she never sleeps.

[Christina]

Here I go with the advice that you don't need and didn't ask for... made even worse by the fact that it's been about 7 years since I had a baby transitiong to one nap...and I'm sure I'm totally pointing out the obvious besides...
If you delay the morning nap for a while (say an hour?) is it possible she will sleep long enough that it's not worth doing the afternoon nap?
Ack. That was the stupidest most obvious and pointless advice ever. Please ignore it. Wipe it from your mind this very instant. I'd hit delete but then I'd have to think of another comment. I'll do that anyway:

Sorry your dad is sick. Glad he's going to be okay. I think 80 Year Old You will get a very good laugh reading back over your blog posts, so keep 'em coming!!

[Jess]

Third baby! Third baby! I am TOTALLY saying something about a third baby!

Although. If there is no Third Baby, then this will be the last time you'll have to deal with the nap transition. And that would be lovely.

[-R-]

Even though I am not sure I want another kid, I look at the baby girl swimsuits at Target with envy every week. TOO CUTE.

[Liz]

You have to wait for me to catch up with Second Baby. Oooh, I have an idea: since Molly and Lu are the same age, we should just plan accordingly for the next pair so that we have ready-made friends and the mommies can send all of them outside to play while we sip delicious adult beverages and gossip.

[Redbecca]

We're getting the weirdness around here with naps right now and it is scaring the cr*p out of me because he pulled this stunt when he went from two to one nap before his first birthday and now it is a month before his second birthday and he is not allowed to get rid of the only nap yet. No no no!
Also, I don't recall any talk of third baby. And I hope your dad gets better soon!
Thank global warming for the hot. A/C units occasionally come in handy, even in the north. I know several folks who have broken down and gotten them for living in places like Syracuse and Maine.

[Lisa]

While you guys are having your heat wave, we are experiencing Seattle-like weather...temperatures, anyway. 70s and low 80s with low humidity. We're not really sure what to do with ourselves. I have never had the windows open for so many consecutive days...ever. The a/c is getting a much needed break. It usually goes from summer to winter here with very few of these temperate days.

[Sheila]

You totally mentioned a third baby in #4 of the 7QTs!!

[Christiana]

OMG, I think I am dealing w/ the 2 to 1 nap transition and I am DYING myself, so I am completely empathetic.