The latest goings on with Miss Temperamental

I know posts about baby sleep are right up there with Paint Drying and That Dream I Had Last Night on the Boredom Scale, but OH WELL! I am Queen of this here blog, etc. etc.

At this point last week Molly was sleeping through the night. She'd only done it for a week or so, so Phillip and I weren't feeling THAT confident. And then about a week ago tomorrow she started waking up again, so YAY for not assuming the sleep was going to last and being that much more annoyed when it didn't, but BOO for all the obvious reasons. That night was also really warm, and when I picked her up from her naps she was sweaty and hot and her sheets were damp and I realized we couldn't really wait for her to be reliably sleeping through before moving her out of the closet. The minicrib is too small, the closet is too stuffy and hot (even though we keep the door open) and SOMETHING MUST BE DONE.

Friday last week I set up the pack 'n play in Jack's room and decided we were just going to try it out. I would always put Molly down in the pack 'n play first, and if I needed to move her into the closet eventually, the minicrib was still there. I wasn't expecting much, since our first attempt at sharing a room was HORRRRRRIBLE, but see above: something must be done.

And? It actually went pretty well. I tried the afternoon nap first, and while I kept marching up and down the stairs to threaten Jack ("If you keep jumping up and down in your crib I'm going to sell you to an Eastern European Olympian trampoline coach!") and eventually had to pull Molly out because it'd been over an hour and they still weren't sleeping, AT LEAST THEY WEREN'T CRYING. And that was my policy: as long as they weren't BOTH crying, they stayed. It got easier and easier, and Jack got less curious about "Monny! Sweep!" and Molly grew more accustomed to her new room. So far naps are going really well (as long as I retrieve the first one to wake up before she wakes up the other one MOLLY) but nighttime sleep is a different story.

They go to bed great. Since that was what made the first try so awful, we are in awe at how easily they both just lay down and (eventually) fall asleep, with significantly fewer up-and-downs and threats from their parents. But Molly's still waking up in the middle of the night and we're sort of at a loss for what to do. We try popping the pacifier back in, turning on the sound machine, picking her up, holding her in the chair, rocking her, all that- but more often than not it doesn't work. Since Friday she's only woken up in Jack's room twice. All other nights she's spent the last half in my closet.

We let her fuss a bit in Jack's room, since he's tolerating middle-of-the-night disturbances amazingly well. But she just amps herself up to a point where we know we can't let her fuss it out- it's just not fussing anymore. Sometimes the pacifier works, but only for 10 or 15 minutes, then the fussing starts again. Most nights she doesn't go back to sleep till we've given her a bottle and changed her diaper- kind of started the whole going to bed process over again.

I don't want to sound like I have huge expectations for her sleeping through the night. I know she can (she was sleeping 12 hour stretches at 2 months old) and she has before (oh, glorious last week!) but her top two teeth just poked through and this room situation is new. She's in a new bed and has a noisy roommate. And no matter what I will always think she's leaps and bounds above Jack in the sleep department, simply because she has never required rocking. Ever! I put her down, she goes to sleep! It's amazing!

But we would like to do things that ENCOURAGE sleeping through the night, and our hands feel sort of tied. Cry it out is out of the question, unless we have her do it in our room, which doesn't make that much sense to me because 1) we'd have to go get her and take her out of the crib and 2) that's not where we want her to think she's supposed to sleep. (And I don't think cry it out will work with her anyway, but the differences between my kids and how I relate to them is a totally different post. Which I should write. I find it fascinating.) So... what do we do? We both feel like continuing to give her a bottle to get her to go back to sleep isn't the wisest choice, but otherwise she's up for HOURS. Getting up and sitting with her or rocking quiets her down, but she rarely goes back to sleep that way. A lot of times we let her fuss, or we keep putting the pacifier back in every 15 minutes, and then realize if we'd only fed her in the first place maybe we could have all gone back to sleep right away! I hate those 15 minutes of quiet, when you're hoping against hope that she's either fallen asleep or on her way, but then the fussing starts up again, right when you're about to finally fall asleep yourself.

I know this is wishful thinking, but I am a wishful person: I'm hopeful she's just going to do it on her own, and hopefully before Phillip and I have yet another We Have To Figure This Out Before We Kill Each Other Over A 3am Feeding night. We've had no effect on any of her other habits, why would we this time? After all the work I did to get her to go to bed earlier than midnight, NOTHING worked until one day she just decided she'd toe the line. And when she was sleeping through last week, it wasn't because we'd been "training" her or anything. It just happened. (And waking up again just happened, although I blame teeth. I always blame teeth.)

Anyway. I guess this isn't so much for you to read but for me to mark down what's happening when. It's certainly not the worst thing, and so far it's totally worth whatever it takes to keep them in the same room, but eight uninterrupted hours- that's what we're all shooting for, right?

Comments

[Kate]

First of all, let me just introduce myself as the Mid-Michigan version of you. Seriously, if I lived anywhere Seattle, we'd be best friends because every time you post, you steal the words right out of my mouth. But we'd probably never manage to get together because we'd both be too lazy to make it work.

My son will be 2 at the end of this month, and my daughter is 6 months old. They, too, share a room, and we had similar drama when we were transitioning Anna out of our room into Wyatt's. Luckily for us, both of the kids are relatively good sleepers, so after the first few nights of Anna waking up and Wyatt asking, "Anna? NighNight?" he finally learned to tune her out when she woke up in the middle of the night. She would wake up, I'd go in and feed her, and then she'd go back to sleep. After a while, she decided to sleep through the night and now it is just great. My advice for you is to just be consistent, and know that this will not last long. Lots and lots of people before you (and me) have made it work, and you will too. Good luck!

[Redbecca]

We've found that at middle of the night son doesn't need a meal, he is just thirsty most of the time. so we give him a bottle of water and sometimes all he wants is an ounce and then he goes back to sleep. some nights he'll suck the bottle dry but almost always goes back to sleep. Molly isn't anywhere near sippy cup status but that is our next step provided I can find one that 100% won't leak.

[Lisa]

I have learned that logic doesn't apply with children and sleep. It doesn't matter that it SHOULD work, because it doesn't work. Apparently, these kids weren't paying attention when they handed out Instructions for Sleep 101. Olivia is going through weird sleep stages. I don't understand why she's afraid of falling asleep alone. She did it for MONTHS AND MONTHS until she learned to crawl out of her crib. Now she's all, "DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE IN THIS ROOM. Are you CRAZY?" And then it's "Let's jump on Mommy in the dark for two hours until we collapse of exhaustion." Oh, so much frustration.

[Christiana]

I've got no advice for getting 2 to sleep in the same room (I'm taking notes for the future, though!) but maybe just give her the bottle when she wakes up in the middle of the night and skip the messing around? If that's what it takes to get her back to sleep anyway... I know, it's a cop out. I did it w/ Caroline and then my pediatrician said "STOP!" at 9 months, so we had to force it to end by only sending in the husband for a week, but that's all I've got. Sorry and good luck.

[Stephanie]

I just wanted to let you know I have never been a blog reader but I was reading your parenting.com blog one day and just related to it so much! I have two little girls that are two and six months and am a stay at home mom in Arkansas. I have started to read your blog everyday and it is so nice to hear another mom struggle with two kids on a daily basis too! Thank you for making this mom laugh and not feel so terrible knowing a whole lot of other moms are going through the same stuff I am everyday! Good luck on the sleep issue...my two year old was not a great sleeper when she was a baby but now she is a fabulous sleeper so there is hope!

[Dr. Maureen]

As someone who is pregnant with her second in a two bedroom place, I am VERY interested in hearing how this switch to sharing a room is going. Don't you love it when people are all, "But where is the BABY going to sleep?" as if having two kids share a room is tantamount to child abuse or "But aren't you worried that they'll wake each other up?" Yes! Of course I am! But what are you suggesting I do as an alternative? Move? Sigh.

But I am encouraged by Kate's comment up there. Thank you, Kate! And keep us posted on the Great Room Sharing Experiment.

[Elsha]

We did the middle of the night bottle every night until Kalena started sleeping through the night. Which, by the way, happened totally abruptly without any effort on our part when she was about 8 months. So I guess I'm saying that I'm no help at all...

[Alanna]

You could try moving your son (before or after he is asleep) to the floor of your room for a couple of days while you let Maggie cry it out...