About coffee, specifically, The Perfect Cappuccino

I am decalcifying my espresso machine. Who knew you had to do this? Not me, until I made my first cappuccino in, oh, four years? Five? and saw all this nasty white stuff in with the espresso grounds. Which made me feel sort of bad for serving those first two cappuccinos to my parents. Oops. At least I had an excuse for how terrible they tasted, right?

So I flipped through the owners manual I had to download to figure out how to brew the espresso in the first place and there it was: DECALCIFYING YOUR MACHINE. Ick.

My brothers and sisters and I bought our parents a snazzy combo coffee/espresso machine for Christmas (which has been returned twice, and now downgraded to a simple espresso machine, boo hiss) and my brother and I spent some quality time together crafting the perfect espresso drinks. Possibly the thing my parents miss the most from Italy (and maybe the rest of us) is The Perfect Cappuccino. Which you cannot find in the United States. At least, not as far as we can tell. My mom will tell you that the Perfect Cappuccino also exists at the Fairmont hotel in the Vancouver airport, where they stayed for our Chinese wedding banquet, but that's kind of a long drive for a coffee.

(Side Rant: I hate hate HATE when the barista says, "Dry or Wet?" As if there are two kinds of cappuccino (more foam or less foam) and I don't know, it just drives me crazy. I want to say, "A CAPPUCCINO, you DOLT," and then hand them a lovely little cup from the Agip gas station on the autostrada to Venice. WHAT IS SO DIFFICULT ABOUT THIS?)

Anyway, there was much talk of cappuccino over the holidays which inspired me to dig my own machine out of the cupboard over the fridge. I can't remember when I bought it. I thought I bought it the year I lived all by my lonesome in the ten foot by twelve foot studio apartment, but that would be the year AFTER I decided to stop drinking coffee, so that wouldn't make any sense, right?

Okay, so, either way it's been a long time. And an espresso machine is not really the kind of thing you cart off to Goodwill so I've had it sitting in the dark depths of my kitchen, waiting for the day I decided I needed to make my own coffee again. And that day has arrived. My coffee just tastes like feet.

I'm hoping this decalcifying thing helps, but we'll see. Right now all it's doing is making my house smell like vinegar water. (The manual said citric acid, but vinegar will work too, right? God I'm hopeless.) Not drinking coffee is sort of a character flaw in this city (or a sign of misguided pride, I think) and I'm glad to be back on the wagon. Caffeinated even! Because it STILL DOESN'T AFFECT ME. I drank I don't know how many cups of coffee at my parents' house last week and I still was falling asleep on the couch.

(This would be because Molly, while now going to bed at a Normal Baby Bedtime, has been teething and waking up EVERY HOUR WANT TO DIE. The bottom two teeth popped out a few days ago and last night we got to sleep till five, so things are looking up.)

Anyway, the espresso machine calls. As do the neglected children. And Hot By Thirty, which is in dire need of updating re: I LOST THE BABY WEIGHT, SUCKAS.

Comments

[Carrie]

Congrats on the weight loss! Did you come up with a good reward? I still dont understand why cake is not a good option. But then, that probably explains why I came nowhere near actually losing my baby weight :) Seriously, good job and I'm counting on you to impart your willpower secrets to me in a few months!

Hope the teething thing gets better soon. I wish that we could just have one bad month where they grow all of their teeth at once instead of dragging it out forever and making them feel randomly cranky so much of the time.

[Jen]

Hooray!

I obviously can't live there since I feel that hot chocolate is far superior to coffee.

[Rosemary]

Ugh. The idea of a "dry" cappuccino horrifies me.

[Jess]

Torsten decalcified our espresso machine and apparently it made a wondrous difference. I hope it does the same for you!

[Eldad Yogev]

Great story and funny rant about wet vs dry. Yes Dolt is a good word. However, the vinegar could backfire on you as it may leave your coffee having some of its flavor. Make certain to backwash the machine - leave the pod attachment connected w/ the filter that is all closed (no little holes). Run the machine like a normal brew for 20 secs and stop it. Do this 4-8 times and then pour out the water that has collected. If its filthy repeat til it looks clean. That should help you get to the perfect cappuccino. And if you need a new machine check out this very helpful site - www.top100espressomachines.com.

[Jessica]

As a barista, I have never asked anybody if they wanted dry or wet. What bugs the snot out of ME is when somebody says "slightly wet" or "a teensy bit dry". What the heck does THAT mean????

Ahh a delicious cappuccino is one of life's great pleasures. I, for one, cannot drink a cappuccino out of a paper cup. Seems wrong somehow. I also pride myself in making a very very nice cap myself.... seeing as 7 years as a barista ought to give me some bragging rights, eh?