Did we have a weekend? I'm not sure. Seems like one of us never came home from work and the other was totally worn out from taking care of the boy and suffering numerous meltdowns about IS THE BABY COMING NOW? NOW? WHAT ABOUT NOW?
I've mentioned Phillip and his revolting work ethic before, but this weekend takes the cake. He went to work at 9 on Thursday morning and did not return until 11 on Friday morning. I KNOW. He slept all afternoon AND THEN WENT BACK TO WORK that night. I think he got home around midnight. Yesterday seemed like things were mostly fixed, but he WENT TO THE OFFICE AGAIN that afternoon to help make sure and oh man you guys. I may be okay doing the stay at home mom thing during the week, but I sure look forward to the weekends when there are two of us to manage the whining. He was back that evening because I was going to my Not A Baby Shower (phad thai, Starbucks, chick flick, Red Mango, totally forgetting where we parked the car in the parking garage and telling everyone that if I went into labor in a parking garage and had my baby IN A PARKING GARAGE we were so not going to be friends anymore) and he was required to be at home. Even today he spent an hour on the phone with a coworker and sending a few emails. I'm sure he glad he likes to be the one who pays the mortgage and I have to say I'm a lot better at being an IT Widow (A LOT) but we've both had a rough couple of days and OH MY GOD TOMORROW IS MONDAY.
Last night, the first night we were both actually in bed at the same time, I had my biggest meltdown. I'm still having contractions every night and even though it only lasts about an hour and obviously isn't requiring a trip to the hospital, it's taking a psychological toll. Every night I have to go through my whole, "Okay, if this is labor, what do I do next" plan of attack and it is STRESSING ME OUT. I don't know whether we'll call my parents or Phillip's parents to watch Jack, because I think it will totally depend on the time of day we need to leave. And even though I finally asked my sister to be on call and a friend of mine volunteered to do back up duty if we can't get in touch with my sister for some reason, I feel so unsettled. I think if I wasn't having Fake Contractions every night I could give myself a break with the strategic thinking, but it's hard not to go there when your entire midsection is cramping up.
Even though I'm still not sure what Braxton Hicks contractions are, I would guess a lot of what I'm feeling are BH contractions. I am also sure that some of them are NOT BH contractions. Some of them are painful, super long and make me catch my breath. This isn't at all what going into labor felt like with Jack, but I've been talking to lots of Experienced Moms who tell me that labor with their second was really different from their first. So half of my brain is all, "Would you CALM DOWN, for the love of GOD, these are BRAXTON HICKS you BIG FAT WEENIE" and the other half is all "OMG OMG AM I HAVING THE BABY TONIGHT?"
You see where it would be beneficial for my type of pregnant woman to indulge in the occasional glass of wine.
Anyway, I was telling Phillip all of this last night, how stressed out and tired and WEARY I am of this whole thing and then I realized that a lot of my meltdowniness is there because I haven't exactly opened myself up for input. There's Phillip speaking very rationally about what we'll do when we really have to go to the hospital and my mom is on the phone reminding me how many people are around to help and how it will all work out and suddenly it seems okay. I should not stew for too long in my own brain. (Quoth the Internet: GEE, YA THINK?)
With Jack it was just sort of exciting. Is that a twinge? This could be it! And with this baby... it's not exciting, it's stressful. Compounded by the fact that it's taken me this long to realize Jack is no longer going to be my one and only and while I am guilty of rolling my eyes at everyone who's ever moped about that sort of thing- WAH, MY BAYYYYBYYYYY.
It's time for me to go to bed. OBVIOUSLY. In other news: the portable crib bedding arrived! I like it! And when Liz returned my tupperware today it was filled with YUMMY CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES and what I and the rest of the world would like to know is: how does the mother of a 2-week-old baby have time to make COOKIES? I think she's just trying to make me look bad.