Quick! He's sleeping!

Finally- finally!- the baby is asleep, even if he's only asleep in the Moby, meaning I cannot do the dishes or fold laundry while he's sleeping. Bummer. Actually it's been a pretty good day. Last week was full of bad weather and nothing to do and a baby who refused to be put down, but today has gone well. He napped long enough for me to eat breakfast and take a shower and then we went to the mall. Both of us need something to wear to his baptism. If I'd scheduled it a month earlier Jack could have worn the frilly gown my brothers and sisters and I wore at our baptisms but now he's too fat. (I KNOW! What happened to my SMALL BABY!) I am sad about this (sniff! heirloom! tradition! sentimental!) and not so sad (it's a DRESS.) So off we went to see if there were any appropriate outfits available for purchase at the local mall. But no, there are not. I can either baptize my baby in the latest green and orange thing from Gymboree, or buy an expensive and uncomfortable-looking satin tuxedo from J.C. Penney. I really just wanted something soft and white and boyish, it didn't have to be fancy or formal or have a giant cross appliqued on the front (yes, I could have bought something with a giant cross appliqued on the front) but there is nothing to be had. Perhaps I should not have waited until a week before the baptism.

Speaking of clothes: why are all the onesies that say Daddy's Little Helper decorated with little saws and drills and hammers? Why aren't there any Daddy's Little Helper onesies decorated with computers and cables and power strips?

Anyway, thanks for chiming in on the Staying Home With A Two-Month-Old Is Dreadfully Dull conversation. I didn't mean to sound as if I don't like my two-month-(and a half!)-old. I actually find him fairly entertaining. I don't know what that says about me, but I really can watch those kicky little legs and gummy smiles for hours on end. And, I've decided, I prefer two months to two years. The adorable blue-eyed nephews have been in town for two weeks and Jackson and Phillip and I have been going down to Grandma's house pretty regularly to see them. The older one is two and the younger one is six months and both of them are large enough to squash my child and eat him for dinner. They are the cutest things on the planet, but MY are they loud. The older one is constantly throwing around his favorite phrase ("No way!") and the younger one has developed this maniacal baby velociraptor shriek that he pulls out whenever he's tired or hungry or just bored with whatever toy is currently jammed in his mouth.

The other day I walked in the house and my older nephew was standing in the living room giving me the "who are you" stinkeye. He was wearing nothing but a diaper and a little t-shirt that said: WARNING: I AM TWO. And really, that says it all. Jack and I have agreed that we will skip two and go directly to three, especially if he has a little brother or sister. I don't know how my sister-in-law puts TWO babies down for naps. Just the one is enough to make me hunt for the smelling salts.

On the other hand, that same two-year-old nephew calls his cousin "Baby Jackun" and I dare you to come up with something cuter than that. THERE IS NOTHING CUTER. It is so cute I will spend the entire afternoon asking two-year-old nephew various Jackson-related questions. "Who sleeps in that box?" "Baby Jackun's box!" "Who is this baby?" "Baby Jackun!" This blog post is being typed by a puddle of goo.

I have pictures, but they must be downloaded from the camera and that is yet another job I am loathe to do while wearing the baby.

Oh I do believe the sun is poking out. Could it be? Although I think the only reason it poured all weekend is because God knew the Harry Potter book was coming out and wanted to make sure we didn't feel guilty if we stayed inside reading it the whole day. I think I'm going to see if I can get the baby to sleep in his BED and then start washing the dishes because did I tell you? The dishwasher is broken. And not the "doesn't wash the top rack" broken like I was complaining about earlier. This is "does not latch and will not start" broken. And this cannot be, since the whole reason I live in the United States of America is because dishwashers are a God-given RIGHT. (Have you lived in Italy? Where there are no dishwashers? And where you must store your freshly washed dish in a drying rack hanging directly above your sink, so that you are dripped on the whole time you are standing at the sink AND developing back problems because your sink is too low and the rack is too high? Italy may have excellent food but the kitchens are designed by crack smoking blind people.)

This is quite possibly the random-est post ever. I think I need to go lie down with the baby.

Comments

[carrie]

If you're skipping any age, I highly reccomend three, rather than two. Three is MUCH more trying than two!

[Laura]

First of all..Carrie, not amused by your comment!!! I am the proud mother of an almost 3 year old...and two does have some trying moments (lots of them) but oh, the good ones are soooo GOOD!! Glad the sun is coming out....

[Anette]

Two is practice for three. No matter how tempting it is don't skip two in favor of three it's like skipping the ninth grade and not learning algebra before you take calculus. Oh and two really starts at eighteen months...

[Megan Elizabeth]

"Italy may have excellent food but the kitchens are designed by crack smoking blind people."

This made me laugh so hard that there are little drops of spit all over my computer screen.

I think two-year-olds are CUTE!!! I know a two-year-old who can recognize all the letters of the alphabet. I am not bragging. He is not even related to me.

If some nonsensical comment shows up before this one, ignore it. I hit enter accidentally.