I am not amused


***Update! 9:33 PST!***

So right after I posted this the contractions sort of melted into the background. Of course! It's like telling the internet your child is now sleeping through the night. We all know how that turns out. I'm still feeling them, but not as often and I managed to sleep another hour. Go me. Also, I am eating everything in sight. I think this is because I hear the hospital wants you to starve and I am not a big fan of starvation. Anyway, don't get too excited. Phillip is at work (poor guy, he can sleep through anything except his wife potentially being in labor- he bounded out of bed to get the birth book he's been reading to refresh himself on the 'How You Know You're In Labor' chapter) and I have every intention of getting outside and visiting the trendy outdoor shopping center with my friend and her six-month-old. It's beautiful in Seattle today. BEAUTIFUL.

Are these contractions?

Reasons why they might be contractions:
1. Owie
2. Disturbingly cramp-like
3. Every 5-10 minutes
4. Since 3:30 this morning
5. Which was two hours ago
6. Did not stop when I got up one hour ago to make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Reasons why they might NOT be contractions:
1. They only last, like, 15 seconds
2. They're not getting longer
3. They're not very consistent in the ow department. Some are swear word worthy, some are all, "Meh, whatever."
4. It is only Monday. This is not supposed to happen till, oh, next Monday.
5. I think my doctor is out today.
6. It's going to be 70 degrees and I have plans.
7. It's only been 2 hours. Wimp.

Of course, my plans are to 1. nap and 2. read the two books I bought last night. I bought Mayflower, because I was talking to my dad on the phone this weekend and he asked me what books I was reading and I said, "Uh, Us Weekly?"  He, of course, was reading something intellectually stimulating. I supposed I could stand to learn a few things about the pilgrims beyond what I learned in fifth grade, so I picked up my own copy. And so far? I am not bored. Amazing!

I also bought Darcy's Story, of which I was highly suspicious, but both my mother and mother-in-law, the Jane Austeniest of all the Jane Austen fans, thought it was terrific. So I have that one too. But first I am going to learn about the Puritans and the first Thanksgiving.

See, I don't think these are real contractions. Do you have little baby contractions mere minutes after a swear word contraction? This is not what the books say it's like. Stupid books. And if these are not real contractions, I would like them to please go away because I've been up since 3:30 and if anyone needs her beauty rest, it's me.

Oh. AND we were going to see Spider-man tonight. Not that we are big fans or anything, but I was going to drive downtown after work and meet my husband at the Thai restaurant for the deep fried tofu and chicken satay appetizers and then go to the movies. While we are still Free of Responsibility. I am really uninterested in having to go to the hospital today. People keep acting like I should be dying to get this kid out of me, but... OWIE. Yeah, THIS isn't fun.



I never had a contraction that wasn't Pitocin-induced.


I think they're real! This could be it! I'M SO EXCITED!!!

Now take a couple of Tylenol while you still can.




EEEEKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! Don't mind me, I will just be refreshing your site all freaking day!!! Keep us posted!


I am so not going to guess if you are in "true" labor, because what if I'm wrong? But I think any contraction this close to your due date is real... in the sense of accomplishing something (see Jennifer at Perfect Work!). But when it's serious, they'll all hurt. (sorry, that wasn't very nice to tell you, was it? Nevermind... la la... look, something shiny!)


Those are the kind I've been having---(me of see Jennifer at Perfect Work noteriety)---they could build toward the real thing (most likely) or not (least likely).

I knew you'd go before me!


Ack, how exciting! Well, I know nothing about babies or contractions, but I do know books and I can tell you that I enjoyed Darcy's story immensely. It really was like reading the mirror image of P&P from his POV--very cool! Okay, I'll be checking back, good luck!!

Emeth Hesed

They could be contractions. I had contractions on and off for 12 days (and bloody show 3 times) before active labour kicked in ... there wasn't anything about 2-week long contractions in any of the books. My baby came 4 days early.

Kate P

Well, in either case, I prayed for you (and Jennifer) during my lunchtime adoration visit. The books sound interesting! (And at least your parents don't buy you books and then immediately ask for them back so they can read them like mine do, LOL! I love 'em to death.)


Keep us posted...take the laptop into delivery. Phillip can give us the play by play unless of course he is passed out on the floor LOL


This sounds like what happened to me the first time. It started on a Thursday (early). My daughter was born 9 p.m. Sunday. Get as much sleep as you can while you can. I was sure I was in labor, and terrified of having to give birth in the Military Torture Chop Shop (hospital) so I didn't sleep AT ALL after it started. Then my daughter was born and I didn't get to sleep for two years. SLEEP!!! I know, yesterday I said READ, but now I've changed my mind. Fat lot of good I am, right? And don't worry, most babies sleep during the first two years of life, just not my first one.

Traci B

After 3 babies I am thinking YEP, you are going to have a baby soon. Every one of my labors were different and this one of yours, sounds like my third sons birth experience. My contractions were wacko- never consistent in timing and some were hard, some- not so much. I went natural on baby #3 and let me assure you... HAVE THE EPIDURAL:-). Baby 1: emergency c-section 6lbs 12oz, Baby 2: V-back delivery w/ epidural 7lbs exactly(oh so wonderful!) Baby 3: NATURAL 0 MEDS 8lbs 10oz yep, I was nuts. I chose that:-0


I am anxiously awaiting the next post! Which will maybe say you are at the hospital! Wooo!

If you are not at the hospital tomorrow, you should TOTALLY run a bath. And eat bon bons. Yum.

I, in turn, will keep you posted on the state of my TiFaux. Because I know you are on tenterhooks.


Contractions on and off for 12 days and four days of bloody show?

Oh Emeth I am SO there---and it ISN'T IN ANY BOOK.

Can't wait to hear your update, Maggie.

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