I got nothing

I have nothing to write about today. I have been staring at the Compose A New Post window for hours with nary a thought in my empty little head.

(For those interested, the governor is on the radio right now doing some damage control regarding Seattle's rather impressive No and Hell No vote yesterday. And what she is saying is, "I have decided not to decide right now and in the meantime, we will spend $900 million to retrofit the viaduct, even though I cannot use the word 'retrofit' in public and expect to keep my head." Freaking Seattle Process. $900 million!)

Smart people, when they are lacking in posting topics, decide not to post. "Oh," they say. "My readers will not desert me if I neglect to offer them my fascinating delectable tidbits one day out of the week! It's better to wait until I have something meaningful and insightful to say! So I shall wait patiently for my Muse and not think about how the last topic I posted had to do with local politics, which no one really cares about, and for which I have no interesting opinion to offer anyway. Where is the wine!" But not me. When I am bereft of something to say, I write about television. (And all of you who haven't been watching, shoo!)

First of all, props to Maureen who up and got herself a tricked out Cheung-style TiVo. Or, rather, watched while her husband did the work. Now that Maureen and a real life friend of ours have gone to the dark side, Phillip is positively bursting with geek pride.

Unfortunately, there is not a whole lot to say about television today, since television decided no one turns on the TV in March. What's up with that?!

Well, ok, there is Lost. HO HUM. I think Lost is on some kind of super sucky - super awesome - completely boring - kick ass programming schedule. I mean, what can account for the Hurley episode (and I love me some Hurley) and then last week's episode? Within two weeks! I'm not one of those people who gets all bent out of shape because I'm not getting any answers. In fact, I like the multi-layer mysteries and the constant introduction of new ones. But I can't stand being bored. I should not want to fast forward through the actual show. And the Hurley show was a full hour of telling me things I ALREADY KNEW as well as things I already knew I didn't care about. Why do we need a flashback where Hurley is wondering if he's really cursed, when he's obviously made up his mind on the island? GAH. On the other hand, Eyepatch Dude is frickin awesome. I might actually stay up to watch tonight.

And I've actually been watching Gilmore Girls. I know! It's still not that great (poor Lane has the crappiest storyline in the history of TV) but Rory found her spine (hooray! Now where's Marty! Or Jess, even!) and Grandma Gilmore went along for the road trip. I love Grandma Gilmore. The Emily/Lorelei scenes are the absolute best ones. Remember when Lorelei called her out at the end of the Emily/Richard wedding? Where is that woman's Emmy?!

I'm kind of bummed about Rob and Amba on The Amazing Race. Sure they were lying liars, but  they knew how to RACE. Well, until this week's episode which was a lesson in why you do not let crazy competitive people be responsible for things when you are battling for last place. Those people get so freaked out about losing they can't even concentrate. At least they were cool about it. My favorite thing about watching that show is deciding if Phillip and I could compete. Like that navigation task? I would have rocked that one. Phillip would have to do all the bungee jumping and eyeball eating. But we would probably implode every time we had to get in the car and find the next clue, because I always know where I'm going and Phillip always thinks he knows where he's going and so does not appreciate people who tell him otherwise, like it's an affront to his manhood or something. "Why can't you let me make mistakes!" he yells. "Because I like to end up in the right place!" I yell back. And this is why we are never trying out for reality television.

But I digress.

I stopped watching 24. I was all excited, but I'd rather not watch the torture, you know? Just not that interesting. Also, Jack never eats food. I know I have to suspend my disbelief, but still. Sure, you can go from years in a Chinese prison to speaking full sentences and threatening your family within a few hours, but without eating? I don't think so.

Friday Night Lights is on the nobody-watches-TV-in-March schedule. I do not approve. And if this show does not come back next year I will lead the protest at our nation's entertainment capitol. Also, Ugly Betty. I miss the ugly!

Heroes... You people need to be watching that show. It's way better than Lost. It has Hiro. And Future Hiro! And now it has skeevy Eric Roberts who is, like, the epitome of skeevy. I love this show. I need them to kill off whiny Peter Petrelli and send him back to Gilmore Girls where he belongs and I also need, like, a 15-minute aftershow about how to make my hair look like Claire's, but other than that, it's super fun.

And the most shockingly fun thing I'm watching right now is The Apprentice. I know. I said I wasn't going to watch anymore, after the whole pink swimsuit thing, but the contestants this year are, I'm deciding, uniformly awesome. Even when they suck. It's like they've figured out that Trump is a pasty white scared-of-everything-that-is-not-rich-and-pasty-white-like-himself crazy person and that The Apprentice is just a dumber than dumb reality show. So when Derek got booted off for freaking Trump out about possibly having the dreaded White Trash in his near vicinity, he was all, "Whatever! Off I go to my weeks-long sequestered vacation!" And maybe you thought Michelle was just an insane and incompetent project manager, but when she up and quit? Before Trump could go through the ridiculousness of the board room firing? That was AWESOME! Michelle was all, "Whatever Trump! I don't need you and your freakalicious hair to make me successful!" Because that's completely TRUE!

That's what I liked about Rob and Amba. They didn't care about making friends and stupid alliances. It's a REALITY TV SHOW. Make friends at home!

Ok, I really hope I have something good to say on Thursday because it's not like I'm going to want to leave THIS dreck on the front page for long either. Also, I sort of need someone to email me and say, "Maggie dear, I will give you a candy bar if you get off your butt and update your website. It is not summer, it is MARCH. Of 2007.For the love of God. Love, The Internet."

Comments

[Vanessa]

Maggie dear, I will give you a candy bar if you get off your butt and update your website. It is not summer, it is MARCH. Of 2007.For the love of God. Love, Vanessa.

But it might be melted by the time it gets there. It's rediculously hot here in AZ. Who decided 90's were ok for March? That's what I would like to know. I was lying in bed last night watching the news with hubby and they said "It's going to be sooooo hot tomorrow here, then a little 46 next to Seattle and I thought of you and was jealous.

Hope you find something to write about, but I probably won't leave even if you wait days to post. I'm loyal like a golden retriever.

[Christina/Mrs Broccoli Guy]

See the thing is, you can write about *nothing* and it's still totally entertaining... you're like the "Seinfeld" of the blog world. :-)
And seriously, what is up with TV this month? I'm not liking the lack of good programming one bit! And I'm with you on Lost... the Hurley episode was like a weird re-run with Cheech in it. (that was Cheech, wasn't it?)
And about the blog design... I like it As Is. It makes me feel like summer is just around the corner and after all the dreary rain (and snow! today! ugh!) we've had I think the flamingos and summer stuff is like a mini vacation every time I go to your blog. :)

[Jenn]

I'm bummed about Rob and Amba too, she's the hometown girl so I wanted her to win. Plus, they are kick ass racers, except when it comes to spelling Phillipines. I thought they might be eliminated at the beginning of the episode when the producers kept showing Rob talking about how good they are.

I can't stand Mirna and Charla. Just. Can't. Earth to Mirna: This is a race! On a reality show! And you're a jerk!

I couldn't stand Terri and Ian during their season, but I really like them this time around. I think my favorites now are Danny and Oswald.

I keep watching The Apprentice even though I didn't think that I would. He's been extra absurd this season, between the "skin of your ass" rant a few weeks ago and his hair and the way everyone is either a winner or loser, I drive myself nuts watching it. But every Sunday night, there I am, watching it. I think I need an intervention.

[A]

If anyone is whiny on Heroes it's Claire. She is always whining about not wanting her power and her family. At least Hiro and Peter have accepted their powers. The only thing Peter whines about is not wanting to blow up New York, which anyone should so he is trying to stop it.

[Catherine]

Thanks for the heads up this time, no spoilers for me :-)

Everyone has those nothing to write about days, and there are two ways to deal with it - the waiting and writing when you do, and the setting to and trying to make very little sound interesting and amusing.
Congratulations on accomplishing the latter :-)

Catherine

[Maureen]

For the record, I did not even watch. I read a book or something. It is so wonderful not to have to know how to do that stuff.

We're loving the Cheung-style TiVo, by the by. Except "we" (read: Andrew) still need to make it so we can actually watch the shows on the actual TV which is in the same room as the couch as opposed to having to watch on the computer which is in the same room as a single, solitary, albeit relatively comfortable, chair.