You have no idea how heartened I am to find that other people know the Joseph songs backwards and forwards. The world suddenly became a more friendly place for nerds like me.
Also, my mother wants you to know that she does not want her future grandchild referred to as a "sweet potato."
I brought a bunch of Christmas gifts with me today because I planned to mail them on my lunch break. I do not, however, have all the addresses in my email like I thought I did. Lame! Now people who already think I suck are going to have to add a whole day to the suckiness. Getting these packages ready to mail was a heroic feat in itself. I am really pathetic this year. Well, I was pathetic last year too. Last year I was very on top of the gift purchasing, but not so much with the gift giving and the card sending. I don't even remember if I sent cards last year. And I didn't give my best friend from college her Christmas gift until I saw her over the summer. At which point I gave her her Christmas gift and her birthday gift all at once. LAME!
I'd like to change my slothful ways this year, but it's not looking so good. Yesterday we came home and had a dozen Christmas cards in the mail, some from people I even forgot to put on my list. What is wrong with me?! On one hand, my card-laden mantle makes me feel very popular. On the other, it's a daily reminder of my suckitude. My sad and shameful suckitude.
My other big plan is to make truffles. Yes, truffles. In previous years I've boxed up a choice selection of the Christmas cookies I've slaved over since Thanksgiving, tied them up with ribbon and left them on my neighbors' doorsteps and brought them to work and basically handed them out as "Sorry, I forgot to send you a Christmas card" penance. But there are no cookies in my house this year and I have no idea what I'm going to give my neighbors, let alone what I'm going to feed the guests at my party. But I picked up a copy of Bon Appetit the other day (because I occasionally entertain the idea that I know how to cook, shut up) and there was a not-terribly-difficult-looking article with step by step instructions for truffle making. And people, I can melt chocolate and roll it into a ball as well as anyone else. And truffles! Those are snazzy! I can put a handful of those in a tiny box and tie it with a fancy ribbon and not feel like I'm cheating people out of a big tin of cookies because these are truffles and truffles are luxury items. Right? RIGHT?
My other plan is to get the Pharmacist to give me all her leftovers and serve those at the party. Whaddaya say, Pharmacist?!
At least my house is decorated, I can say that much. So what if our tree is crooked and droopy and will likely turn brown by the end of the week? One of my favorite things to do this time of year is go downstairs in the morning, turn on the tree and eat my Special K by twinkling Christmas tree lights. It's usually still pretty dark (if only because the weather is crap and pouring down rain) and the grim morning news always sounds better by treelight. I made Phillip rearrange our entire living room so we could fit the tree in the front window and even though we now have a sofa hanging out in the middle of the room and it's harder to play Guitar Hero when you're cramped between the couch and the coffee table, I love having the tree in the window. This way I can toast my toes in front of the fireplace and snoop around the presents at the same time.
Not that I would ever snoop around the presents. As if.
Meanwhile, if anyone has gift suggestions for the devastatingly handsome computer geek who has everything except the newer flashier pricier versions of what is already sitting on his desk, could you let me know?