Assistant [to the] Regional Manager

Phillip gave me a bobblehead for my birthday. Normally I think bobbleheads are pretty stupid, but this one is a Dwight K. Schrute bobblehead.

My Dwight is a bit off kilter, as he arrived with his head broken off and I had to superglue it back on. Now his head is cocked just so, as if he's about ready to whip out his volunteer sherriff's deputy badge and arrest me for getting pastry crumbs in my keyboard.

(Lest you fire up a nasty email to my husband asking how he could possibly give me a BOBBLEHEAD for my BIRTHDAY, I should tell you that I also received some very nice jewelry, also known as The Lovely Birthday Earrings. I get a lovely pair of earrings about every year, except for the first year we were dating and he gave me a spiffy blue Venus razor for my birthday. A RAZOR. Supposedly this was some kind of JOKE. But neither of us can remember what the joke was about, nor can we remember what the REAL birthday gift was, which means should he ever try to give me such a horrible "gag" gift again, it better be accompanied by, oh, I don't know, DIAMONDS.)

I am bored, people. BORED.

I can go read wikipedia's entry on Dwight K. Schrute.

I can plan my next vacation (is it too early?) to Maui. But if not Maui, then Kauai. And if not Kauai, probably Thanksgiving in Italy with my parents, with either a several day stopover in Paris on our way home, or a trip down to Sicily. Where I would want to go to Taormina and Siracusa and eat my weight in ham and mozzarella calzone. God I'm spoiled.

I could do, like, actual WORK. Ha!

I can work on reducing the number of unread posts in my Bloglines account from eleven bazillion by randomly clicking on all the updated-every-four-minutes sites I thought I could keep up with. (I can't. But those sites seem to max out at 200 unread posts. TWO HUNDRED. eep!)

I can update you on the important events from the last few days:

• I took the Beloved Automobile to a car wash after a bird did its thing right on the driver's side window. Which is unacceptable. There ended the two year run of filth and grime.
• I earned a whole $40 for a freelance editing project. That plus the $45 my grandma put in my birthday card means someone is going shoe shopping this weekend.
• I finally got to the end of the sixth Harry Potter on my iPod, which meant my boss found me sobbing in my car this morning while I listened to the last few minutes. And then, because he is an ogre, he demanded to know if I "still think Snape is innocent!" To which I said, "Mpflurgh! Weep! Achugh!"
• Freaking UPS called at seven in the morning to ask me about a redelivery that was redelivered a month and a half ago, because thedumbestonlinestoreintheuniverse called them JUST NOW to ask about it. Of course I have already written a very nasty note to said online store and demanded a full and total refund, because HONESTLY how hard is it to send a package and get my address right?

Cough. I'm bored and cranky.

Here's something else to do: go visit my friend Lee and hand him a celebratory happy birthday cyberbeer.