How to Spend the Third Day of Your Three-Day Weekend

1. The night before, ask God pretty please for beautiful sunny weather, the kind that shines through your bedroom window and gently wakes you up. Don't forget to say thank you in the morning.

2. Try to act appropriately sorrowful when your husband has to get out of bed, take a shower and go to WORK.

3. Get up anyway and design campaign flyer for your ambitious relative which you promised to do last week. Convert to PDF and hit "Send" without freaking out, even though you now work with Real Live Graphic Designers and therefore have even higher standards for Printed Material than before. Congratulate self on taking this small step away from Perfectionistic Neuroses.

4. Kiss husband goodbye. Try not to smirk. It's not nice.

5. Start laundry.

6. Take shower.

7. Strip bed. Do more laundry. Feel extremely accomplished. Reward self by eating gigantic bowl of cereal and reading new copy of InStyle.

8. Invite friend over for some therapeutic TV viewing. Watch Valentine's Day episode of The O.C. Discuss finer points of the Cohens' marriage. Verbally annihilate That Other Woman. Draft letter to Josh Schwartz requesting permanent removal of Marissa, for the love of GOD.

9. Leave friend at home to watch Newlyweds, rush out to brow wax appointment. That's right. Have tiny eyebrow hairs unceremoniously ripped out by stout woman named Margaret. Which is my name. Feel warm, cozy and pampered during 10 minutes in waxing room, reveling in the only spa experience you can afford.

10. Purchase lunch ingredients. Go home. Prepare lunch. Discuss possible relocation of dear friend to Spokane. SPOKANE. Might as well be TIBET, okay? Watch SECOND episode of The O.C. Bite me, Phillip.

11. After friend goes home, fold the rest of the laundry. Decide to Take Advantage of the Weather by going for walk. Become inspired and jog a few blocks. Okay, not consecutive blocks, but Internet, I haven't jogged since my evil sixth grade gym teacher made us run the mile.

12. Reward self by reading the rest of InStyle.

13. Put in ANOTHER load of laundry. Prance around in spring/summer clothes while waiting for the dryer because, hello, it is GORGEOUS outside. A girl can dream.

14. Fire up computer, set iTunes to random, type out blog post to Cake and Ani DiFranco. Awesome. Send seemingly sympathetic instant message to husband. Who is at work. And you are not.

15. Plan to spend your last hours of paid vacation napping, washing the lunch dishes and getting your friend to invite you to dinner. Do happy dance of free-afternoon-ness.